i like it like it

i have a very fragile heart. like i told you before on my desperate and sound so drunk post before, i was thizzzz close of going insane because of that stab to my heart bouncer and baby sling. im trying so hard to stop thinking about those two, but i cant, today, i finally bought that two!!!!!! woot woot woot!!!!!!

a song to our parents

i just downloaded a complete albums of disney's children songs for my daughter and i found this beautiful song that reminds me of my parents,

I picked the reddest apple from the tree

It was the finest one that I could see

I saved it all except a bite or two, just for you

I carried home the groceries from the store

I wanted to be helpful with a chore

I put them all away except a few, just for you

Someday I’ll be grown up too.

And if I can I’ll grow up just like you.

I ate up all my lunch just like you said

But I think there was a little too much bread

And so I left the crust when I was through, just for you.

Someday I’ll be grown up too.

If I can I’ll grow up just like you.

Just one more thing before I go to bed

And everything I have to say is said

There’s something special that I’d like to do

Here’s a kiss, just for you.

while listening to this special song, i thought it only fitting to devote some blog space to talking about my parents. i know, it cliche to answer this question, "who is your personal hero(s)?", but sometimes it just undeniable true. if everyone else who answer that question in a similar fashion is fortunate enough to have as phenomenal parents as i do, then they are truly blessed, because i know i am. not only set a prefect example of how to be a good parents ( thought for their sake, i wish they wouldn't worry too much ), but they were a role model for how to be an exceptional human being.

they did teach me how to share, make me finish everything i started, and tell me to be nice. they consistently show me thru their actions how to speak up and how to stand strong when defending my self. i was also incredibly lucky to be told throughout my childhood that i could grow up to be whatever i wanted to be. and i am thankful for that for what i've become today.

so this song is for you, my amazing parents. i love you too much. i hope you're safe and sound and happy in where ever side of the world you are.

ps: i do wish someday my daughter will sing me this song and say exact the same thing as i said today.

BROTHER

i've been blogging like almost 2 years and i've never write a single thing about the most special guy in my whole life, my brother. His name is Hario Riki Pratama, Riki for short, was born September 5, 1993, with a special need. My brother is an autistic. Down Syndrome to be exact. My mom said, down syndrome is a genetic abnormality on chromosome number. i dont know much about the chromosomes, all i know my brother was born special. there are reasons why i have never mention about him. if you asked me if i embarrassed, im not gonna lie, i was embarrassed once. long long time ago. but if you asked why i was embarrassed, my answer is because im afraid. im afraid of what other people think about my brother. people are very easy to call someone with special need as an "idiot". and that is what i feared the most.

time goes by. the day when my father died, my brother was the only person who did not cry, he said, ..daddy is in my heart now. my father died 2 days before his birthday but my brother was the strongest among us all. and since that day, my brother was the one who always strengthened me, strengthened us all. he always makes sure that my mom safe, and we are safe. my brother was never such a trouble, like most other boys at his age. he wasnt interested in the formal education, he prefers art. most of the time he spent at home. and i think this is God's miracle for all of us, He took my dad so early, but He gave us Riki to always keeps us together and not apart.

today, if you ask me about my brother, i will not embarrass anymore and i will not afraid anymore. im proud to have a brother like him. he keeps the light on in our home. he keeps us stick together as a family, even after i got married. so this is a short story about my autistic brother named Riki, the most special guy in my whole life.

here's some of Riki's drawing

there are still so many of them. soon i will upload all of them, or even make him an album for his great great arts. i think he is a very good artist, even better than me who have studied like almost 3 years in design and art :p Riki has just finished doing Hernia Surgery and is in healing. lets hope Riki get well really really soon :)

xoxo from me and Riki

happiest birthday Aika :)

remember my friend Aika? the pretty one from Philippine? She's having her birthday on July 13. so here is a little sumthing from me to her. i asked tirto to join me but he's too shy to do so. he says hi, cant wait to see you in 4 days. love you doll.

hope you'll love it as much as i love you.

i wish i could teleport

from the place where i am writing now, i could see the blue sky and i could feel the heat touches my skin. and then my though flies far far away to the most perfect place i want to be right now in this sunny summer day. uh, if only traveling is not that expensive :(

HAPPIEST BIRTHDAY MUM

last thursday was my mum birthday. which, incidentally happened on the same day as my uncle's birthday. so my big family decided to go on short vacation in town to celebrate their birthday. my grandmother, all my cousins, uncles and aunties were gathered here in Bandung. for me, that was a very rare situation to have all my family here in the town. because except lebaran, we rarely get together like this because most of them are live in other cities and because of their busyness. so, last weekend was special.

this year my mum reached 49 years old. even tho she looks very young and fresh and healthy, i know she is not that young anymore. my mum has become a single parent for almost 7 years. and for that 7 years, she has done amazing things. she raised me, my sister and my brother great. she has successfully led my sister to her dream, going to school in Japan. she has successfully led me to become a wife and a mother to be. she has successfully led my brother to become a healthy and smart and funny kid with an amazing talent of drawing ( you should check out my brother's drawing, its crazy beautiful!). she has successfully not only become a good mother, but also a good friend for all us. well, at least for me.

its a year before her 50. i guess its our turn now to make her happy. to make her life more colorful than before. to make her dreams come true. to give her support that we have got from her all our entire life. thank you mum. not for everything you have gave me, but thank you for being you. for always being my mother no matter what. thank you mum for always forgive me. for always be a home for me. for being the best teacher and the best friend in the world. i love you so much more than everything and limitless. i adore you mom. you're superstar :)

my mum and my uncle

mum's surprise birthday

ps: last monday, i went to my doctor. its good to know that our baby is fine and it is SHE. im so excited. IM HAVING A DAUGHTER! wish me and the baby best of luck and a good health ya!

The Return Of My Sister

as i said before, my overseas sister finally came home last month. she brought a lot of stuff, a lot of stories ( that i must listen ) and a lot of photos ( that i must see ). im happy to be home again with her. not gonna lie to you, i miss her so much. my sister and i are not like the other sisters. if you hear the word "sisters", you would think about 2 girls with a lot of in common. but my sister and i, dont even think about it. we spend most of the time with fighting. she's Japanese minded and me, i adore American. thats why we speak very different language about coolness, except Britney Spears. but speaking about language, my sister and i have our own language that both of us are the only creature who understand it. so gather up again with her means, i could use that language again :p so here's some photos about her coming home. my mom and my brother both very happy welcoming her. me too of course, but writing sweet things like this about her is only bullshiting, because no longer from now, we will fighting again and start cat calling at each other again...just like the old times! but i guess that is what sisters all about, to make everything stays still like the old times :)

shalom every one, good afternoon :) i hope you guys have a great day today.

so, happy birthday to my father. his bday is on 2oth. im wishing you very great place there on heaven. i miss you and i love you endlessly.

i just woke up. i was watching Sex and the City 2 and i fell a sleep. its hard for me not to fall a sleep when im watching dvd now. weird. i happened to always love watching, any time any where, but now, duh its the hardest thing to do. im working on my second project at campus. its a public service ads about safety riding. i choose texting while driving as my focus area. its a very interesting topic. its about the un-explanationable needs to always checking our phone. i know the feeling so well, even tho im not driving. so its like making an ads for my own self. hahaha so weirddddd x)

i want sushi so bad. dont know why. but raw fish is an issue for me now. since im not allowed to eat anything raw or under cook. but i want it so very very bad. i am consulting with my nurse friend now, i hope she brings me a very good news about it. me wantey sushiiiiiii :)

so i'll write you later. stay tuned :)

Twenty and One

three days ago was my birthday and today is Tirto's. we've turned 21. we're allowed to drink and drunk now. aren't we?

happy birthday to me, yeay! this is the best birthday ever so far. all thanks goes to all my lovely family, Tirto and friends. so very thank you once again. well, my bday is on 15th and today is Tir's. im a bit late for mine but yeah i guess that wouldnt hurt much. on my birthday, i was like very very enjoying my day, and yeah rocking the day of course. it well spent. i love birthdays, always do. my favorite day from the whole year is my birthday. why? because on my birthday, facebook will report to all of my friend's home page that 15 march is my birthday. through out the day, every one will mouth "happy birthday" and smile to me. i enjoyed it very much. when i was 17, i always wondered what it feels to be 20 and plus. will i dress like my aunty, have a long hair, red lipstick and high heels? duh. none of my guesses were right. i assumed that 20 and plus was automatically "grown up", something like dress like an adult, long red hair, lipstick, high heels, club, smoking, working and dating a working man, but now im 21 and i feel much more than that. i feel grown up in a very different way. it was totally my day. you should see the bday card my friend gave me. im so freakin lovin that! and yeah they gave me a book and cake and couple of candles. im so extra excited about being 21 now, cause im just having awesomeness days with all my love ones. totally rocking each and every day..

i'll show you some photos and video from my day. simply click HERE for full view.

before i leave, what is birthday without surprise? well, this year i'll giving you all a surprise. a very big surprise. BUT....... i can not tell you now. because of this and that reasons, i have to postpone my surprise for you until next month. but dont you worry because its a promise. duhhhh its almost slip here in my mouth. im dying to give it away now but once again, lets just hold for a moment,shall we? so i'll see you around maybe when my surprise its ready or even sooner.

xoxo-es

ps: a bear hug to each of every one of you in the photographs, Tirto, Ghessy, Jani, Juon, Dita, Mya, Fikong, Uni, Dinda, Charm and also Abe, Aika ( so far from the eyes, so close to the heart ya!) and Ririt, cepet sembuhhhh yaaaa. i love you guys 10000000x and more.

my birthday is ten days away.

in ten days, this little girl will turn 21. should i make my wish list now? im still young enough to have one right? haha nah im joking. im not expecting any present from my parents this year. but maybe a new phone will work just fine :p

so life is working great right now. im learning Tagalog from Aika. she teach me tagalog every day via bbm. Tagalog is one of hard ass language to learn! seriously. it is so hard to remember each of every word, but i wont give up now. i will learn until, at least, i can introduce my self properly in Tagalog. Go me! Im sick right now. got my self flu and terrible cough. wish me to get well soon okay!

im listening to Sondre Lerche now because i missed his concert today and yesterday. so this is like my condolences for not coming to his show. i love you Mr. Lerche, i really do...

im going to bed now. i'll write to you as soon as possible.

Magandang gabi..*

ps: its saturday night, im guessing that my neighbor, dont have enough money to go the club so they held a party in here. i could hear the bass pounding in my wall. poor them. i wish i could lend they some money but too bad im not that kind. haha fuck them.

*goodnight

Wicked Weekend Part 2

photos from last wicked weekend at Batu Karas. Photos courtesy of Aika and click here for full view.
Fikong,Dinda,Aika,Abe,Dinda,me,Tirto
Dinda,me,Dinda,Charm
Dinda,Aika,Surfer Boy,Charm,Dinda,Fikong
my new three favorite girls: Aika, Charm, Dinda
honestly, i want to post as many photos as i can, but blame it on the internet connection, i need more than a half hour to uploaded these 4 photos and i cant help to wait any longer, but you can just click hyper links above to see all of them.
see you around.

wicked weekend

duh. its been like forever since the last time i wrote new post. very busy lately and lose my spirit to write. but no worries, im back now. so how are you guys? good right? i hope so. its march already, my bday! this girl is turning 21 this year. hurrah \o/ so speaking about bday, last saturday, Fikong, just celebrated his 21 bday at Batu Karas. Im so excited because the last time i went there was in 2009. 2 years ago. So we went there, me, Tirto, Fikong, Dinda and Abe. it was so funnnn :) even tho im not a water sport lover i do love beach very much and the most exciting thing is when i made new friends with Dinda, Charm and Aika. Aika and Charm were both Filipinos. My first Filipinos friends! too bad i didnt take many pictures with them but as soon as Aika uploaded the photos from her camera, i'll will post it so you guys can check them out!

So i guess thats all for tonight. will be back to you as soon as possible :) but last but not least, this is my amateur video from last wicked weekend. Enjoy :) Magandang gabi..

click HERE for my more videos

my neighborhood

its still 5:44 am in the morning. too early to write a post. but this is so very important.

i cant stand it any longer. my neighborhood, its location is very strategic, near to the town center, sport hall, library, 24 hours mini mart and restaurant. i like it a lot, but too bad my neighborhood full of annoying people. like now, at this very hour, a guy who lived upstairs, who was my Uni buddy, have turned his dugem song all night long on a very maximum volume! i could feel the bass like now when i write this post. deep inside my heart i want to tell him to shut the fuck of but because he is my senior, i dont have any guts to say it straight to his face. its killing me! cant you imagine sleeping with the bass pounding in your room? not to mention a few other people who like to yell and buang sampah sembarangan! have you guys lost your fucking mind? norak. living in social environment have its rules!!!!

not because you have money, you can do whatever you want to do.

:)

whatever will happen to us, i know everything will be just fine as long as you're here with me. and you are here, and will always be here

i love you more than all the treasures of the sea

today is our birthday. we dont need to mention how long we were together because people who are in love never do counting and as long as i know, our love is cant be counted :) i've run out of words to describe how much i loved him and how lucky i am to be loved by him. all i know is if every one gets a miracle each of their life, then he is mine. hahahaha i would feel really really embarrassed if Tir reading this post because this is would sound super silly \m/ Tir wasnt here right now, he was out of town for work, so i decided to make a little something for him :

for some great designers or computer junkies, this is must be super easy. but for me, i hurt my back to get it done. its a picture of me and Tir. i hope he will love it, because i made it with the spirit of love. hahaha

but well, happy bday again. i love you and cepet pulang dong hehe aku kangen :)

my first video blog eva!

ps: HAHAHA I KNOW WHAT YOU PEOPLE ARE THINKING!

love

i'm watching the bachelorette season finale now. Ali finally chose Roberto to be her guy. i'm a little upset because i think that Ali would choose Chris, but its okay because Rob and Al look really cute together. but Rob&Al's love story isnt what i would write right now. i was just, hmm inspired. i've seen a lot of love of their love story and it made me miss mine! Tir always works on weekend and im not making an issue about that. but i do really, really really miss him now. i never seem to miss him like this before! haha. so i guess if he, by any chance, read my post, i want him to know this: aku kangeeeennnnn cepet pulaaaaangggg :D

ps: i wanted to tweet this at first, but i felt ashamed of my self. i think i fit no more to tweet things like this. i'm old haha

hiiiiii :)

im sorry for being such a bad-ass blogger :( i've promised you to write the details about my Bali trip and im so so so very sorry that i havent had time to write it. so busy for these last two weeks. im about to explode!!!!! deadlines killing me. but final exams just around the corner and after that i have my all time for writing to you. BUT, if you need any information, any thing about trip to Bali in a shoestring style, please feel free to contact me. i will tell you everything you need to know about low budget holiday to the mystical island.

how are you anyway? i have a very good news! Nookmag, an online magazine from Singapore wants me to contribute!!!!!!! OMG this is so cool!!!!! im about to write my first article tomorrow. so happy :) and i hope i can contribute to local magazine soon!!!! Tir's work is getting bigger and bigger now. i hope this year could be our lucky career year. finger crossed :)

i hope you guys doing as great as i am. good luck for the final exams my Uni mates :)

ps: i post me and tir's happy faces photo. love him so much :")

hello and goodbye

this week, a friend died. he is a friend, husband, and a father, died in a very young age. my highly condolences over his death. may God give him the perfect place on His side and give strength to all that was left. Amen.

did you ever think that death is always around us?

i had a dream last night, someone lost his teeth and i dont even know who he is. rumors said, if you dream of losing teeth, it is a sign there will be a sad news coming. i still have goosebumps every time i try to remember my dream last night. it is very terrifying to me. the lose of our love ones is my biggest afraid in the world. although it has become destiny, all of living creatures will surely return to Him. but still i was very scared.

May God give His protection to all the people i care about and give them health and long life. Amen.


:)

my magazine

from all the design lessons that i have received for almost 2 and a half years, layouting is definitely my thing. last semester, i've made my first magazine, iTravel, and now, im making my second one, its called hello indonesia. i love doing this hehe i finally found my dream job: working at the magazine \o/


my first mag


my second mag


im planning to have my kerja praktek next semester at National Geographic Indonesia, but i cant be sure, im hoping NatGeo will approve me. Finger crossed hihi wish me a very good luck.


ps: the pictures for my second mag are courtesy of gema semesta's tumblr and GD official website.

HAPPY NEW YEAH 2011

happy new year everyone, eight days late but im still wishing each of every one a happy and great year ahead :) here's some photos and video i took from my new year celebration at Bali. will write more asap. im having my hard time now :( a lot of things to work on. good day :)