between me and you

hi dad!
i finally had time to write something to you.i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you so much.so how are you dad? hows your heaven? you dont feel any pain again right there, do you?

dad, do you remember the last time we met? you hold my fingers and asked about paint for my room? my room is white and green now dad. i've got your picture on my desk. mom's too. you two are my everything. and i would give anything in my world to have you both forever in my arms, dad.



daddy,please pray for me,what im dealing with now..god it seems like there is no end.please tell me that i was on the right side.please tell me that i will be okay and all this will lead to happiness.dad, i dont know if i can do this without you..

i know this is wrong,but i really hope one day you come home to me and take me with you,take us with you,because i cant help missing you more each day i get up. im sorry for crying dad, sorry i always wrote you how mess up my life without you here, im sorry dad, i just miss you too much.

i gotta go,have a class to catch. talk to you later.


love you till death.

i'm okay

in the last few days,i wrote 5 drafts and never post it.i dont know why,i just feel like what i write is meaningless.its not like i dont have any interesting topics to write about.i got plenty.many things that i want to tell through my blog,but i dont know why it was so hard to find the right words to describe it.

so im a grey's anatomy junkie right now.i cant stop watching it.now im on season 6.i have a lot of time at home, alone. so i spend my time watching more than doing nothing.its good i think. my college was fine.i decided not to use pc or programs in doing my assignments.freehands is way better and a lot easier. my relationship is good. good as casual dating good. nothing special, i cried for him last tuesday because he wasnt here when i needed him the most,and then we spent a lot of time together this week,more than other weeks,so im happy, he makes me happy, and today i found out that he has 'special name' from his friends and im not happy about it,but im good,too good to be true.

and now im going back to my grey's,have a very beautiful night.and no worry about anything.
bye.

my sunday story : PHARAOH RULES

i can tell you that this Sunday is the bloodiest Sunday of the month. i was working on my assignment of creating the safari park map, with the Egyptian theme. Which means i have to change the green and cool and wet Bogor into desert,arid,hot and Egyptian camel's stuff. my concept was perfect,as well as sketches,but its a lot difficult than i imagined.i chose to do it with manual method, you know my relationship with adobe illustration and any other pc-thigy were suck. so manual is my boy. easier but need a lot of accuracy........and thats the reason why my sunday very frustrating.

but at the end of the day,i met up with my bf.suddenly i feel okay and im done for today. the end is too beautiful to started all over again. finger crossed for my egyptian map and for you! PHARAOH RULES.

until i see you again

Why do you look so sad?
Did I say the wrong thing or
touch you in a bad way?
In a bad way

It seems you're changing moods
as quickly as a hummingbird flaps its wings
and I can't help but be concerned

You're living on silence
and living with your back turned to me
So i can't see you crying
So i can't see the tears stream down your cheek

But i can't help loving you
Even when i'm furious with you
Sometimes i hate myself when i do

Until i see you again
Until i see you again

Oh, I'd like to know
why you keep these secrets from me?
Why do you keep pretending
that there's nothing wrong with us
when you know there's something wrong with us?

You're living on silence
and living with your back turned to me
So i can't see you crying
So i can't see the tears stream down your cheek

But i can't help loving you
Even when i'm furious with you
Sometimes i hate myself when i do

Until i see you again
Until i see you again


my friend gave me this song.oh i can not help to say that this so is a lot like me.im a moody person.my mood could change very very quickly until you cant realize it.my bad.you're living in silence is my line.my boyfriend always says he hates my silence.he says he hates to see me crying.he told me to learn to speak all the time.Why do you keep pretending that there's nothing wrong with us when you know there's something wrong with us would be his line.pretending is my best way to keep everything right.because if there is something wrong,its not us,its me.so i imagine id he dedicated this song to me...ah my older post, i dedicated it for him.

clik to download the song http://www.mediafire.com/?mojonyjx3ey

take me with you to japan..

It's so hard to think about the future
We're only in our early 20s
So much uncertainty about where we'll be
but at least we know we'll be together

Sometimes I can't work
Sometimes I can't sleep
Because you're on my mind.

When you doubt how much I care for you
it really hurts me.

I can't think of anyone but you
I can't care for anyone but you
Every month of the year
Every week of the month
Every day of the week
Every second of the day
I think of nobody else but you

Take me with you to Japan
Just close your eyes and we will be there

.... is that really you think i am ?

from http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.



the job and education part aren't me at all

my saturday story

as always, i always had nothing to do on saturday. i have assignments actually, but because saturday only comes once in a week, i think its better having my self doing nothing than doing something. such a waste i know, but its good. i love good things.



all day long i just sit in front of my computer.swimming in the sea of the internet. talking to my friends via twitter and facebook. download few albums,stay tunes on my last.fm, blogging,even talking to stranger via omegle,dont blame me,i just an ordinary girl with dozens account haha im texting with my boyfriend too, it makes everything more perfect. oh my life wasnt that wasted. its good. too good to be true until you have to jealous about it.






so i can tell you right now that our teenage years weren't wasted just because we dont have a date on saturday. treat your self well before you ask somebody else for it.

give me five!