night mare side

my boyfriend died.

he's no longer my boyfriend,but he has become my husband. one day, tirto was out with fikong,who is one of our best friend.he suddenly came into our house and give me the news that tirto is dead. he said tirto died of wounds and blood loss. "what wound?" i asked, "i wounded him with cutter". i dont remember what i felt at that time. i cried and cried. i kept saying that i cant live without him. our families were coming and they all told me to let it go. but im still crying, "this is too soon". then, I was looking for fikong, I was very angry with him. "I dont believe you did this to me, I was your best friend, and you killed my husband, who is also your best friend too!" and fikong gave me many reasons that I really dont want to hear. I was crying and kept saying that this is not real. but he's gone and i feel so sad like my world is falling apart like i dont want to live in the world where he doesnt exist.

...and finally i awoke from my nightmare. thanks God. gosh, I cant imagine if this happened to me.I knew this would happen, death is a sure thing, but please not now, not in a million years.last night before I sleep, I'm being a little annoyed with Tirto. I'm disappointed because we had to cancel vacation plans again. and I kept telling myself if I could go without him, I kept saying that I would be fine with or without him and then i dream such thing, no, i am desperately not going to be fine without him.

saturday story

i dont wanna be sad again

22:52

when you were with with me,the world became black and white,its better for me because it all seemed to stop and remain on it place..like the best feeling ever..

LOVE

hi! hows your longweekend doing? i actually hate all weekends, but no one in this world hate the beautiful of long weekend, so mine is great!

last wednesday, tirto and i went to lembang after a million years. i was thrilled! we both have our own favorite place in there, we've been there since we're not together, since we're still friends and everytime we get there,i always feel like the happiest couple in the world,like no one else but us. everytime we were there,we always talk about everything, our old times,childhood memories,funny friends,movies,our future,our kids,jokes,anything. as we talked,he didnt stop holding my hand,touched my cheek,and sometimes he whispers that he loves me.cant stop smiling while writing this post :p

we spent the next two days together. there is a funny thing every time we are together,we were both busy with our own laptops.the difference is, I'm busy playing games and updating my twitter timeline and while he is busy with tasks and work.sweet! sometimes we're holding each other arms but still busy with our own blackberries. it makes me upset a little, but it is a funny thing about us.things that make me always miss him.



This makes my long weekend was very great. may be highly usual for some people, but to me nothing better than having my quality times with my loved ones at my lovely place.

have a blast friday night. drive safe, party safe.

just for laugh

im having a very bad day yesterday and i promised my self its not going to happen again today. i keep distance from my phone and i do everything to stay away from everything that makes me sad and angry. it works tho only a bit. well,i did a little experiment with photoshop today, I tried to change myself into na'vi, the avatar girl...and this is it..



I KNOW WHAT YOU THINKING!i look more like a blue girl with chickenpox than na'vi right? haha dont blame me,this is my first time tried it.not really messed up for a beginner like me :D i'll try again tomorrow and finger crossed people,hopefully i can be the cuter na'vi just like i hope tomorrow will be a better day and any other day.

i love yous.

one point five

yesterday was the best Sunday in the last 4 months.you know how it feels to feel very sure about someone.like you really believe that he is the best for you.like you were not afraid of anything while he's there next to you.yesterday, i feel these things.i feel like so happy more than i couldn't imagine.i feel like i dont want it all ended.i want forever,stay like this forever.i am desperately in love.
today, one day after,we were fighting for the very first time after yesterday.as always,a very tiny thing screwed up.i admit my too emotional side and i do understand your stubborn side always be the reason for our problem. fighting is normal for me. we did it a lot and we survived it more.one that i think about it now is when we are going to stop this? we just celebrated our day yesterday. we should be better now. we should be able to more understanding each other.we should be able to learn from everything we've ever did.i didnt say what happened today is your fault.its our fault.my fault and yours too.and im so sorry about it.

i dont know if you will read this or not.if you read it,and you'll know it that i dont want what happened today happen again someday.fighting with you is something i dont like.for now yes, i was mad and upset and i dont want any conversation, and i know you do too.but just letting you know, i want us to be better and i need you to help us get through this and im sorry.

happy two and three again.
\:D/

java's hidden beach : BATU KARAS

for some people batukaras had been no hiding place anymore. tourism and water sport lovers must already know about this place. this beautiful beach is located not so far away from Pangandaran, the main beach, its only one hour drive. this not the first time for me to get there, I've been there before several years ago.I dont remember much from my first, but I'm sure one that does not change,is the beauty of the beach.

the waves are friendly to the surfer,warm sun,fine sand,incredible views,calm winds,friendly natives,great seafood,and oh.. this place is like paradise. i really want to go back there, even im not a water believer, imagine me sitting on the beach, reading my book listening to the waves.. god, i couldnt ask for more.


tips:
- summer is the best time to come here, but you probably will be a little difficult to get the famous mushroom :D
- booked the hotel a week before your arrival and make sure you get the reservation note or something, in case they forgot about you ( out of mind but true )
- holiday season will make the hotel's rate becomes very expensive, like really really expensive.
- if you're going to spend the night in tents, dont forget to bring anti-mosquito and buy all of your stuff and take your extra money in Pangandaran,because when you get here,you will be a little hard to find store or ATM
- sunblock is a must
- a romantic place to go with your loved ones.trust me