February. Romantic month. i hope a lot in in Feb to be my lucky month. but it seems my hope is useless. i've been feeling like a widow. trying to catch some fun but ended up nowhere but my own room. all alone.i realized how much i hate all my weekends in Feb, they all suck and boring and i just wish i had a power to skip them all. and God might hate me more than He did before. i look around to the people i envy. it seems like they had amazing life without problems like mine. it makes me so sad to see something great like that. i feel so pathetic with all the 'good life' stuff. i feel like somehow somewhat being single again without getting any relationship before. i wanna buried my self alive on internet and books like forever. i hate me, i dont care if it sounds like a childish or whatsoever, i mean, my life is right but always in a wrong position. but the worst part is no matter how much i hate it,campus life,friendship,home even my boyfriend, i just keep on wanting to have more time with them. more and more like im hunger for them everyday. weird but that's the thing right? tho i hate it,i still love it.
i've been saving my boredom out towards books,internet,and shopping. it helping tho just a bit, like my own way to say, 'fuck you feb,you could never beat me,i have my march'
And today is the last day of Feb. only god knows how much i thankful for it. Here is comes my march. i hope this month brings a joy to me and all of you.at least i hope im not going to celebrate my bday alone.
BIG WISH X
No comments:
Post a Comment