Saturday, December 26, 2009

2010 is four days away

i feel like being messy.i dont know what to do and i dont have anyone to hang out not depressed, but yes im bored. i need something to do outside the house. anything, i'd love to go to campus though i hate to think about the assignment. i need to re-arrange my room,but this lazy sad ass wont move.i dont want to do anything but i do dont want sit here all day long.

so here i am bored as i can be. see?im curly-ing my, im not depressed, i just thought maybe it will be fun to have a new look

i downloaded a lot of new songs these days. i fell in love with Treehouse from I'm From Barcelona.It reminds me of being in love with someone and feel the world belongs just for us both.Peter Yorn and Scarlett Johansson were also cool.She has a very sexy voice which i envy a lot. But i recommended She & Him, ( omg omg Zooey Deschanel is a rockstar!i love her so many much ) and New Moon's ost. I dont care what people said about that New Moon's things. I love that movie so much! Even The Killers spoke New Moon's Language guys! its a must-see movie. i'd love to watch it again. maybe some other time or maybe today.

pete yorn and scarlett johansson
look at her hair! she's my fashion-hair icon!


oh, something terrible had happened too. my favorite movie star, Brittany Murphy was dead. me and my sister really sad because we're her huge fans ( my sister is crying when she reads the article about her death). even my boyfriend loves her too. i just watched her movie, Ramen Girl, couple weeks ago. and im so sorry that she has been taken from us really soon.

she is a bite

well,i dont have something special to tell. as you might remember, im in my highest boring level. so i beg your mercy, if my post is the more boring post ever. but i do have something funny. yesterday i played and that was FUN!


i cant stop laughing my ass off. i mean look at him. he is Chinese, fat, ugly, and more look like pig. blame it to tirto's photo. hahaha so because the countdown is four days away,i will keep my head up and pretending that i was so excited to wait until 2010 is coming. so please 2010, be my year !


Saturday, December 19, 2009

rise and shine

finally its December 20! i've been waiting all my life for this day to finally came up.yes by noticed my last post you know i've been thru a very hard time in my love's, for some emotional reasons now had learn to be better.though it will cause me pain in the arse,but hey nothing could beats me. even i have to cut my head to death, i will be okay.time will heal my brokenhearted.

well,enough with sad love stories. im getting a personal treatment. maybe i should go somewhere wasting money or doing stuff. yes i have a couple projects a head. i'll make a travel blog. i feel the need to share my adventurous trip to all my friends. dont be jealous because someday we'll travel together!and i'll do some uploading stuff. its xmas's eve, marry xmas and enjoying the cartoons parade on tv! dont miss it! i wish my bf were here to watch our fav life time cartoon together. haha miss him already :)

well yo, happy holiday everybody :

Thursday, December 17, 2009


true love is like ghost,which everybody talks about and few have seen. i haven't. have you?

i'm so curious why people like you is very easy to play with words to express love. sometimes you loved her, but a second later you love someone else.unless you have two hearts in every side of your chest huh? my heart is always beating for your name. but i didn't hear from yours.i'm very confused right now..the pain is just too real.

maybe its time to learn to let go of everything.though it will be very painful, but i believe everything happens for a reason. this time, it would be a good reason. i was crushed but my world will continue to run.sooner or later, i will find a new heart that i call home. and i will take care of it,like i used to.and i will let the time erase all the things about you.

well who need love when all we have to do is crying in bed like forever? love supposed to be day made. love supposed to be the whole day smiling. love supposed to be happy. love is supposed to be love.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

welcoming ho-ho-ho-holidayyyyy!

it feels so great writing a post without any specific topic :)
well,it's December everyone. Last month on 2k9. i wonder why the time clocked so fast.its kinda sad but hey December is a holiday month!
so for everyone lived in others country,is it snow up there?December is a xmas month i bet it will so snowy right?
im heading my holiday two weeks from now. although i have a perfect combo plan for my holiday,i still dont know what to do for the new year's eve. Bandung will be so crowded.and Jakarta will too :(
for new year's eve.still a question mark.i really wanted to celebrate it with the people i care about. my family,my friends, and my boyfriend of course.but it seems Bandung and Jakarta isn't the place to celebrate it because it will be so crowded and jammed. my mom offered to celebrate it in Jogja , but i prefer watching dvds at was sounds really party too. as long as i have someone that i will hug and kiss after the countdown. its really okay.
oh geez,i couldn't help for college.the holiday's scent is spread all over the campus.create a mood for missing the rainy weather. it was very lazy to do the tasks that pile up when the holiday is in our eyes.really, i'd like to sleep 2 weeks and when i get up, woohooo its a holiday time!haha.

so how about yours holiday? i hope this time, your holidays will be so enjoyable. it should be right? c'mon its holidays! merry xmas too to you who celebrate it.hows your xmas's tree?sure you're busy right now decorate it. if only i can help,would be very fun huh?


ps: im very close to changing my phone number.

Friday, December 4, 2009

lesson to learn

people should be respected and trusted as people, not because of their position or title. Frequently, position or title did not reflect the true merits of a person.

i agreed a lot.after all the things had happened to me,i just realize that respecting people's life is just as important as respecting our own we know,respect has great importance in everyday children we are taught (one hopes) to respect our parents, teachers, and elders, school rules and traffic laws, family and cultural traditions, other people's feelings and rights, our country's flag and leaders, the truth and people's differing opinions. and we come to value respect for such things, when we're older, we learn how to respect the differences and also respect the common.we learn how to respect more people's feelings, more people's personal life,more about life and facts,and more about our you know, my last post told you about something ruined friendship.the reason for the trouble was lack of respect. what my experience had taught me is that for a friendship to flourish, the people involved should respect each other.for example,i wont bother my friend's private life and i expected the same way from her/him. respect me like i respected her/him. the trouble started when the respect was not reciprocated.saying that 'im your bestfriend i should know everything about you' or 'this is the way i care about you,we're bestfriend right?' are really a bad ideas.

and i really felt sorry for what happened.having someone you can called as bestfriend sure a great for me, the main ingredients of friendship or any kind of relation is mutual respect. without that, things wont work as we wished. now, i set my self free from desire to do the same thing as she/he does. i put an end and hurry save my self from further harm,set my pride aside and try my best to see the situation from the other person's perspective.if i can keep this in mind,i will be well on my way to practicing forgiveness instead of trying to balance the scales. how cool is that?

well,have a wonderful friendship everyone.i promised my self not to talk about it again.i have a very perfect life,superduper cool mom,funny friends,lovely boyfriend,and more than enough money.i am free to do what ever i want to do and say,free to go wherever i want to go.i couldn't ask for more,so dont worry i wont look into yours.i swear by God.

ps: im about to deleting my older lets just pretend that 'who ever it is' never exist. no body wants to live in the past,will you?
sorry for the bad english and no hard feeling for everyone.

happy weekend and happy welcoming holiday.

Monday, November 30, 2009

today's report

my mom is at the hospital now.she gets ill.
something wrong with her scar after the operation.but no need to worry.the doc said,its okay.but something wrong also happened to her covered with fat. my mom said maybe its because she never controlled what she ate. so the fat grows like crazy.
the doc also said,instead of taking pills,she must do some diet and check it two months from now.

the bad news is my house maid isn't come home yet.which means i have to stayed at home babysitting my little brother and i cant go to hospital to do some deposit thing and bring stuff for mom, and i can't go to college for my graphic sketch class too. which really %&^$@^&$#^&$&#$&^$#&

well after all.i really hope my mom is alright.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

special needs.special dreams

I am really bad in writing love pardon me if this would be the most boring love letter ever.

I made this post esp to my boyf for our anniversary.a little different from any gift I gave to him.but I need something more than goodies.I came into a dead end when it comes to this blog's blank page.I wanted to write something that will always reminds him of me.and then I started to thinking of this idea to write down the song that reminded me of him.because I love when he started mentioning a song that reminded him of was so I guess this is my turn.

Sondre Lerche-Track You Down
Reminds me of first time fell in love with him.oh it was a milion years ago!watching him walk away while I walk behind him.he was a question mark back then.I'm so thrilled to found out more and more about him.i know it was such a crime for me to do flirt with him year ago.but i just cant help my self not to do an eye on eye on him!and im glad he was mine right now.

CameraObscura-all tracks
Reminds me of singing along with him whenever we are at.hugging him tight as it was still in first month since he became mine.he loves all the songs too and we kept singing all over again.I was in lowest disappointment when i found out that he gave one of my song to his friend who had flirt with him.I used to cry my self all night.i hate hate hate hate hate it the most.

Pulp-the best of album
Reminds me of doing nothing in his boyf's room is a shit doods!!getting bored and laugh at each other and we'd take a stupid photos on his laptop.i'd love to post all them all but they are like a milion of stupid's the cute one!


Arcady oh Arcady
Reminds me of his fb's status updates and being around him.he used to listen to the song from his phone so it also reminds me of adoring the way he answer my phone call.

There're still lotta of songs.but I won't share them all because i might running all blog's caracter!haha.

Its so sad for me knowing that he never read my blog.I hate to say the fact that almost all my posts're about how I'm in love with he got me right on my heart.yesterday,our relationship hitting the rock.he said a thing like can't put his trust on me because he afraid that I will cheating on him again.I felt so blue and regretted that I couldn't make him just believe.I thought by writing all my feeling for him on my blog could make him realize and believe even just a bit..

Well.happy anniversary once again love.. I love you :)


Friday, November 20, 2009


i hate the fact that almost all my posts were always about my relationship.

fyi,mine is hitting the rock again and again.i won't give you any major details but yes,it makes me keep singing emo songs all day long. i'm bit regretted always proud about him,i don't know but now,i feel like i'm on the bottom line of my heartbroken feeling.
it's like he never understand or even try to understand how i'm from head to toe in love with him.all he think about are just how i broke his heart and i wont be forgiven for the rest of my life.that im the most untrusted girl in his whole world.i'm in deep disappointment right now.
i hate mostly when he said he forget to see me and doesnt even have a minute to text me. whats that supposed to mean?
all i want is just a special place on his heart and a sprig of trusted.

i know that you probably read this after a million days after i wrote this post,but i hope you always know that you did broke my heart.i love you but once again careless is not for me,so maybe its better for you to get lost

Wednesday, November 18, 2009


these photographs taken when we're in our vacation.still not all but im looking foward to uploading the others very soon.i loved to share everysingle fun we had to you all. enjoy cupcakes!




i fell in love with this city.maybe for some people,this city has no different with the others big cities in Indonesia such as Jakarta or Bandung.but for me, i get a new atmosphere here.too bad,i don't have much time and enough money to get around the city.




these are the special ones about the city.don't you love it skies?these are the reason for me to get back to this city as soon as possible.yet,i'm a bit regretted not taking pictures of Malioboro,but over all i'm very happy to be here.

once again,thank you tirto.

ps:perhaps for some future posts i will keep uploading some pictures about jogja.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

In Our Shoes Crossing The Border Line

hello!welcome to our vacation to Jogjakarta and Dieng.finally yeah!a vacation!even though my desire to go to Lombok couldn't be fullfilled,im so thrilled that Tirto kept his promise to take me on a vacation away from home where i dont have to think about college and any short of responsibilities.
so our trip started by 8.Lodaya train straight to Jogjakarta.its my first time to Jogja after 10 waw!
its almost 11 when i wrote here i am on the starving to death and so boring :( it takes 9 hours to Jogja and it costs 90000idr.Tirto was sleeping all along the well,i decided to start writing so i can share my vacation to all my friends. :)
okay.from where i am sited,the view that i'm offer is remarkably black.but then,i could see 1,2,3 cute little it from a house or what,i dont have a any idea.because all i see is black.
there're people on my train. i could see their different faces. sleeping, talking to each other, watching the night from the window, staring at nothing. ahh i wish i could get their picture :(
11.10 here i am on Ciamis Station.5 hours to go.maybe i should try to sleep now..

its 4.15 and voila. i proudly present give you my jogjakarta :)

finally i am here!

like i said before. im starving to death. so first thing is looking for food! walking around at Malioboro Street this early was so one else but us.dont be jealous people, but its like we owned the after walking 5-10 minutes,we decided to buy bubur ayam for breakfast.a very welcomed hug from Jogja for me.

our next destination is Dieng Plateau. but before that, we must buy our ticket for sunday to Bandung. so we waited so long until 7 for the reservation box. tirto wrote something funny on my notes!i'll post in for sure!

the way to Dieng started by 8.we took the bus number 4 to costs 3000idr.from terminal we continued to Magelang it costs 8000idr and it takes about one and half hour.the weather was so damn hot.i cant help my self from sweating.but thank god,i fell a sleep heavenly.from Magelang we took bus to costs 14000idr but it takes like forever!hahaha. 2 hours to Wonosobo plus hot temperature were crazzzzyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!! i cant stop complained to Tirto.sorry love :p
from Wonosobo to Dieng costs 12500idr but oh my god,i love everysingle thing about the view on my way to Dieng..


Dieng Plateau,The City of Lost

i have found my own paradise.

November 13. What a day.i arrived on my own paradise, Dieng for the very first time. Dieng Plateau is a marshy plateau that forms the floor of a caldera complex on the Dieng active volcano complex, and is located near Wonosobo, Central Java, Indonesia.It is the site for eight small Hindu temples from the 7th and 8th centuries, the oldest Hindu temples in Central Java, and the first known standing stone structures in Java. They are originally thought to have numbered 400 but only 8 remain. The Dieng structures were small and relatively plain, but stone architecture developed substantially in only a matter of decades resulting in masterpieces such as the Prambanan complex and Borobudur.
The first thing that i thought was how cold the weather is.i'm freezing.but nothing can describe how i felt when i first put step to this place.damn excited!

After get a room for stayed one going out!firstly, i took ojek to the Hindu Temples. i was amaze. this place, sooo green and clean.its like a spiritual trip for me even though im not a Hindus. I cant stop being amazed with how clean is this was soooooo beautiful.everything was so green.all i saw was green colors surrounding my eyes.

The Hindu Temples


Kawah Sikidang

too bad i missed Telaga Warna.People said it was so beautiful.but the rains are pouring in.

i felt like on my own world where no one can found me there.i might be in the lost city far far away from the daily thing i used to do.but i share a lot of happiness here.with the world, the history, the spiritual, the people, and Tirto for sure.

next day,we came back to Jogja and stayed for one day.i wont wrote the details,but im having a great time. Shopping and eating so full of joy.i seriously had so much fun.
i'll post more photos is too late now,and i need to go to bed.
im looking forward to travel again maybe with you.

Thank you Hilman Adin Manda Aldot and Tirto for sure.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

suicidal night.

okay.i need a break.
and i need to curse on something.
i feel superduper tired with my latest dkv assignment.its 4 in the morning and i still have lotta cute little pic i have to draw.what a great great starving oh no no no no.
my friends are sleeping now..i need to go to bed to,but god i hate to say that i can't go to bed right friend's songs list are sooooo emo.makes me feel a little mellow and yeeeeeah i still need to curse on something.
im current listening to something bla bla to mars. ha ha ha what an emo night.
just a short updates. i hope everyone reads this have a better night than me. than us.
i think i'll fuck my self again.
i'll post the photos of the deadly night soon. or dont be shy to check them on @marcelitarinda at twitter.

i have a lot of things to share still looking for free times to write. i feel a lil uncreative and trashy now a days..
yes god, i need a break.

suicidal night.

Thursday, November 5, 2009


i never felt this lonely before..
am i living as someone that i'm not? i feel like now people are shooting different names with different faces.i feel like swimming in the ocean of mistakes i i'm drowning in regret.
i have not been my self lately in my's like i'm doing orders and do everything under his control.glad those days are over right now.but back there,it always been a mad problem for me when it comes to speak to the thousand words slipping thru my voice won't come out.
is it normal for a girl like that?
like when you care about someone so'd give everything for them.but at the end of the day,you start to realize that does this person care about you too?
i have been on that feeling like a million times.
i always been killing my self just try to make someone that i loved happy.i give everything to make him happy.time,money,heart and soul,everything and anything.that's all i've been doing in every relationship i made.maybe i'm a terrible bitch for friendship,a lil sentimental too but not mention a love relationship.
i care so much until i forget to care about my self.
now i'm sinking.
why should we try so fucking hard to care?

Tuesday, November 3, 2009


it is been quite long since the last time i wrote trashy words here. by the way, my relationship with Tirto getting better now. i finally begun to speak up my mind. and i hope he's alright with that. i have a lotta things to tell you but i am little busy here. my dkv assignment is totally fuck me up and i catch a very bad cold. huu. 'll write some more when i have free times. im looking foward to do blogwalking and uploading so i can share them with all of my friends.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

some candy talking


this is my whole weekend.Tirto and me and our random roomy activities.i skipped all my classes on Friday because Friday, October 23 was our anniversary!!!! so we decided to celebrate it together doing nothing else than caring each other,isn't that cute?. and also we finally watched The Ugly Truth :) not so ugly i think. Tirto picks me up on Saturday to have a picnic (again) to Tangkuban Parahu. but this time, his cousin, Beto and his girlfriend coming with us.for the first time we walked to the Goa Kahuripan and the holy water.the lady said,it's all about Prabu Siliwangi things. i don't remember anything from history class back to high school :P
the whole night we spent with talking about mama lorent's rumor about earthquake.Tirto said if there's something happen, you just run sounds like love to me. i ate chili too feels like thousand of butterflies in my stomach. huuu. i think i'll do my ilustrasi dasar's assignment tomorrow with making some clay things.i wanna sleep and hope my belly will be better next day.
oh then,we'll travel to Jogjakarta and Dieng at November's the plan. Jogja-Wonosobo-Dieng(stay for one night)-Jogja(stay for one night)-Bandung.i can't hardly wait.we'll send you guys a postcard hihi.
i'll write some more latter :)

Friday, October 23, 2009

sondre lerche really blows my mind to the yesterday's tale

me and tirto just downloaded sondre lerche's new album. and goodnight song really good. but this is my best.
sondre lerche - it's too late

Let it go, everyone's bound to know that I've lost you again.This time you wound up with someone else.Your own will let me down.Put your arms around me for the first and last time and say sincerely that you'll keep me in mind.'Cause time won't wait 'till it's too late to find out who you were.If you had let me make one honest mistake I'd try to change your mind.I try to set an example for all of those who blame their luck.You seem to know where you're heading now.I know this and that's not much.Tell me all the things that you never dared to say.Say you're glad you told me that he isn't going to stay.We've sent letters out there but you don't care.You know you'll manage alone.We've sent letters to you.They never get through 'Cause you'll get by on your own.If you are to change your mind.Don't think I'll forget where I have been I'll stay 'till this torment's over and I know not where I'm going Make It Easy On Me Please.I have no choice but to let it go 'though I know you'll still be here.But I'll never know you the way he does.Let me know if I will.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

happy birthday. you're my granted wishes.

happy birthday to us.wish us all the best.and i hope a step a head to a year isn't that scary.
i didn't say he was my first love whatsoever.but he was the first boy come up from my pray to God.and i bet no one will love and treat us any better.that's why i stayed.that's why he stayed.

see, thats why i love him,that funny face and smmmexxxy, with the butt that i very envy.because he sings along when I start singing some stupid verse from some musical, he rubs tiny circles on the back of my hand with his thumb, he listens to my non stop nagging and most of all he loves every part of who I am (even my too-much-emotional-feeling).
i enjoyed watching him sleeping.

the photos.

this is my last dkv assignment. seratus titik. already finished it and so not ready for the next to do would be great having a whole week without campus thingie. hahaha :) by the way,i'm planning to skip my classes tomorrow and waste my time in bed. geez, sounds heavenly :)


new haircut with sister and her best

Tuesday, October 20, 2009


yaaay.i'm still stuck with my dkv tasks :( i think my relationship with coloring is getting bad and bad. my bianglala was a huge ass-hole. smelly-black-ass-hole.:( by the way,i have a new hairlook everybody :D it's short and i'm feeling prettier than before hahahaha. i'll post the photos later <3
Tirto gone to Bekasi this afternoon. for stnk-thingie and stuff reasons.i miss him already.
gosh,i feel extremely sleepy right now zzzz
okay just a short update. i'll write some more after finish them all.

mm,twitting is sooo addicting.i'll find perfect way to stop it for sure.

Monday, October 19, 2009

i'm jumping out of box and suprising your fox

I find myself wrong again today staring out my window wondering what it is I should have done.and now I find myself at home again waiting for nothing.
So maybe i will listen to you complain and then I'll bite my tongue in vain again as I let it all just slowly settle in.why you know how to give but you can't take it? it's all just a waste now you can save feeling is no matter what I do its never good enough, never good enough..:(
what's my damage today i don't know.don't let me get in your way and let it out like you always do the trouble between me and you is nothing new..
Save your breath cause here comes the truth i realize something that i might over the drama of you and i am done.
morning view

i wanna wake up with this new view in life and love..

Sunday, October 18, 2009

anger management

a friend of mine sent me a msg via facebook view minutes ago.he said sorry about what happened to my last relationship. he also said he can't confirm my friendsrequest because of it. emotional reason.
is it only me or it is sounds so silly?
i always have a mad problem solving about forgiving and forgetting. they both really are drive me mellow. but this time i can deal with them.i mean what we had back then are something real. i've been trying so hard to erase them all but they are still real for sure.
he blocked my twitter acc and told all his friends which are my friends too,to hate me as much as he does.oh my god he must be joking me!

i do love my life now. there's no empty space for things like that. i'm not interesting with any of it.

Saturday, October 17, 2009


yesterday, we have a very good idea about going to Tangkuban Parahu. and it couldn't be happier!! it must have been a year or so since we were there together. 4 of us. today, Fhyra and his boyfie joint us. it was such a blast. it was hot,sunny was never that shinning before HAHA but the wind is sooooooo lovely :) it made me want to live near there.


i feel so happy,responsible,mature but also childish and silly at the very same time with them.they keep making me do the most random things and its mad :). love


i don't need anyother girls since the best stayed with me

pretty good year

i'd like to celebrate you dear..





Thursday, October 15, 2009


i've been trying to write some story to tell lately.i got lost with the words. Tirto got me flower last Saturday and it's still hanging around my room. really pretty isn't it?been obsessed with flower forever.lately i've been feeling very lazy and careless.i need to break free from my monotonous daily life and do other stuff now.i extremely need a holiday. but nothing more than i want to live in the cozy house by the hill in a rainy week and just cook for him who will not eat anything come from my hands.
i miss hanging out with him late at night, miss locked hands with him, walking around with his hands holding tightly mine.he is really good at talking and set up my mood.
i've been getting ok with my assignment right now,except with the illustration and graphic sketch. but after all im getting used with all the hard core stressing-sleep-less-day. oh my god i can't wait for holiday for sure. i'm soooo bored and i want something completely new.
but for now i think im going back to jared pad. <3

Tuesday, September 22, 2009


i like home
i like it that it has door
i like it that it has window
i like it that it has stair
i like it that it has room
i like the fact that we live in them
i like the longing feeling of home when i'm away,
it makes me like home even more
i wonder if he likes the home too.

Random,So Random..

i've been getting horrible headache, i'm not sure if it's because i'm not eating enough or i'm getting my low blood pressure thingie again or i just get dizzy easily? oh well, i've been reading novel again which is great, i love finally getting into the mood of reading again! and this is the last week of holiday which really becomes so boring, even i'm not so excited to attend any class what so ever! i'm so thrilled : )
i've been sending e-mails to a friend, i gave her my songs-list so she could sing along with me someday. so anyway, just a short update, i wish you all are very extremely happy and having a good time! during the holidays i will be in the bed more often (hopefully) to finish my novel so catch up with you soon!

Daily Activities..

Feist Blows My Mind..

Inside and Out
Baby, I can't figure it out
Your kisses taste like honey
Sweet lies don't gimme no rise up
Fool, what you're trying to do

Livin' on your cheatin'
and the pain grows inside me
It's enough to leave me crying in the rain
Love you forever but you're driving me insane
And I'm hanging on
Oh, oh, oh, oh

I'll wait, I'll never give in
Our love has got the power
Too many lovers in one lifetime
Ain't good for you
You treat me like a vision in the night
Someone there to stand behind you
When your world ain't working right
I ain't no vision, I'm the girl
who loves you inside and out
Backwards and forwards with my heart hanging out
I love no other way
What are we gonna do if we lose that fire?

Wrap myself up and take me home again
Too many heartaches in one lifetime ain't good for me
You figure it's the love that keeps you warm
Let this moment be forever
We won't ever feel the storm
I ain't no vision, I'm the girl
Who loves you inside and out
Backwards and forwards with my heart hanging out
I love no other way
What are we gonna do if we lose that fire?

Don't try to tell me that it's over
I can't hear a word I can't hear a lie
No girl could love you more
And that's what I'm cryin' for
You can't change the way I feel inside

You're the reason for my laughter and my sorrow
Blow out the candle I will burn again tomorrow
No man on earth can stand between my loving arms
And no matter how you hurt me, I will love you till I die

I ain't no vision, I'm the girl
Who loves you inside and out
Backwards and forwards with my heart hanging out
I love no other way
What are we gonna do if we lose that fire?

Loves you inside and out
Backwards and forwards with my heart hanging out
I love no other way
What are we gonna do if we lose that fire

Monday, September 21, 2009


I know it was super hurt when you leave me, but I'll be better anytime soon.

you can erase someone from your mind. getting them out of your heart is another story.

Have you ever feel you still cant move on from someone that used to be yours but you have to push yourself dont love them anymore cos they've treated u absolutely wrong?

some people come into our lives, leave footprints in our hearts, and we are never ever the same. you know who you are.

Monday, September 7, 2009


I'm climbing the walls, losing my mind,it's all your fault. I'm breaking the rules, don't really care if I get caught.
Can't you tell that I'm in love, can't get enough of you. Need you night and day. When you're not around I'm tested, I could get arrested, carrying on this way.
I'm going crazy here by myself. I want you and no one else. Sending out a signal of my distress.
I confess, I'm obsessed. It's a crime, it's a shame, holding your love for me. No telling what I might do tonight, waiting for you. I'm right on the edge of crossing the line, coming unglued. Got me goin' crazy. The way I want you, baby. Can't even try to have it. Don't even want to fight it.

I'm obsessed with you tonight!

I'm going crazy here by myself. I want you and no one else. Sending out a signal of my distress. I confess, I'm obsessed


Sunday, September 6, 2009

Dammit !!

I can't not hate her.
That much.

I wonder a lot and i can't say she's always treat me that way. Like bitch-may-care. I mean i said so and then what. It still.
Go fuck your self.


suka sekali (:

terima kasih yah tir..

Saturday, August 29, 2009

A Wish..

i wish i were a tree..

and his guard..

The Way I Introduce My Self..Since I Met You

She desperately wants to go somewhere and leave all the things behind because she's sick of everything.
She doesn’t need stuff anymore because she knows someday she might throw it all.
She feels night grow longer so she never stays up late because she loves morning and she does wanna see the sunrise.
She always asks questions because she only wants to know how far they can answer it.
She convinced it was not about winning or losing.
She knows she's dying and she may be dead in any minute but she doesn’t even give a shit about that.
She found him through her dream and she loves his presence because he is the only reason she feels alive.
She often extremely sad suddenly.
She always walks fast when she is alone.
She unconsciously always imagines getting a travel accident.
She just doesn't know which ones are real or not because she's imagining way too much.
She can’t deny that she has paranoid and histrionic personality disorder, she just didn’t realize it.
She felt better in many ways.

My Final Destination..

take a chance, then that the risk..

Letter From Last Monday

dear love,
we've been together all the time and i'm happy with you
all the time we had,we laugh and we cry together
we make our own story
you make me the most luckiest thing in the world
your eyes..keep staring at me
wherever you go, you keep me right right beside you
you make me comfortable even in uncomfortable times

i just realize, i thought there is something weird, if i'm not mistaken
why you turn your eyes from me ?
maybe it's just my feeling, but i don't feel so good
but i'm still smilling at you..and i hope you do

love,tell me ):

..and after all that is,
it was painful, but deep inside i kept those memories with you
and still waiting for you as you do for me
i'm still waiting.. no matter what happen

come on, love, take me with you

you know who you can talk to. you know who you can trust
you know that i'm still with you..

I Hate When You're Away..And I'm Sorry..

Being together all time isn't always happy as you think
But I hate mostly when you're away..
Sometimes you'll get bored with it
And you need someone to be worried, to be watched
In the mean time, you probably don't "look" at the person near..
Sometime you just don't realize that space you need is space you have

oh everything did look good at the first time, and it doesn't mean anything again after all

day by day still counting until now
and i have to be patient to face it all up
i keep memories to the learn book time
and we're gonna get through this..
aren't we ?

last ten days of 2008..

The Object Of My Affection..

23 november 2008
all this time, i've always pretending that i'm unconcerned about you.
but in motionless, i watch every single step of what you were doing.
lot of the conversation that we had, didn't went so good.
sometimes we were fighting for almost all the small things.
sometimes it ended with crying.
i don't care where i'm gonna stay, whether it's in the hut or on the roadside..
as long as i'm with you, i'm happy for it.
cuz i know you'll give me the best since that day..
then everytime you cry, ah i can't stand for it.
i wanna hold you and say "Don't worry, it'll be okay"
but again and again i push myself not to do it.
and i'm too ashame to say that.
probably you still remember when i was an another girl..
i have all the glamour things in my room and my house.
yeah.. i was arrogant.
then one day you never said one simple thing but it has changed my life forever
i felt the sorrow, the sadness of your voice.
ah i always remember of your glumly voice.
and one thing for sure, you must know that for now and forever i'll keep my head down.
so, okay was my answer..
after all, i'm proud to say you were mine.
and will always be.


shall we go out ?
he picks me up and we ride a bike.uhm..he rides.
actually we don't know where we will going yet. So when a friend said about tracking the wild grass, i think our destination go there..
the skies are too clear, but sure i can smell some fresh grass.
oh i feel so mellow..
oh we got companies (:
it's J and F..
and this is the main story..
it's november 8, 2008..
he is a house built by love
see that little house under the tree? it doesn't mean anything from the outside
but it resting place to me..
mm.. i mean a grave
woo hoo calm down (:
ok, ever i told you that i'm a lil bit um..should i say afraid of fallen ?
yeah afraid of some love-thing
i wonder why his face is something ?
yes, the thing should i say love
i think our journey ends here lets have a new one someday..
let's go back to house..

Sunday, August 16, 2009

First Catch

well i used to know someone fair
she had red ribbons in her hair
and he was such a trip
he was hardly there
and i just love and loved
just the same

there was rain in our window
the radio set ragged
but he could talk
and we learn to speak

and days has gone by
such a long long road to seek
all we did was break and freak it