he's no longer my boyfriend,but he has become my husband. one day, tirto was out with fikong,who is one of our best friend.he suddenly came into our house and give me the news that tirto is dead. he said tirto died of wounds and blood loss. "what wound?" i asked, "i wounded him with cutter". i dont remember what i felt at that time. i cried and cried. i kept saying that i cant live without him. our families were coming and they all told me to let it go. but im still crying, "this is too soon". then, I was looking for fikong, I was very angry with him. "I dont believe you did this to me, I was your best friend, and you killed my husband, who is also your best friend too!" and fikong gave me many reasons that I really dont want to hear. I was crying and kept saying that this is not real. but he's gone and i feel so sad like my world is falling apart like i dont want to live in the world where he doesnt exist.
...and finally i awoke from my nightmare. thanks God. gosh, I cant imagine if this happened to me.I knew this would happen, death is a sure thing, but please not now, not in a million years.last night before I sleep, I'm being a little annoyed with Tirto. I'm disappointed because we had to cancel vacation plans again. and I kept telling myself if I could go without him, I kept saying that I would be fine with or without him and then i dream such thing, no, i am desperately not going to be fine without him.