Sunday, December 26, 2010

good morning

good morning. monday already. it weirds, because this whole weekend i really want monday to comes fast, but now when its already monday, i feel disappointed. breaking a promise to me, with you as the reason, is really breaking my heart. it means you never mean it. so promises are way better left unsaid than this way. well good morning again anyway. i hope your morning is better than mine :)

tick tock

the only reason im writing here at this very hour is because i cant sleep.

i hate sleeping alone on sunday night. everything is like running in slow motion. god i hate this. i cant sleep and there is nothing than i can do, i dont feel like im in the mood to write because this whole weekend, i spent my day and night at bed. tir was out of town to finish all his works before we go to Bali next Wednesday and so here i am, alone, hungry and can not sleep.

i cant believe its 5 days to 2011 and i still dont have any resolutions here with me.

well, i guess i have to cut this post out because i've stared at my laptop screen for almost half an hour and i still couldnt find what i wanted to write :(

i want to sleep and i miss tir.


Thursday, December 23, 2010

the last few days in 2010

xmas today and im loving it. im not celebrating but i think xmas is one of my favorite holiday in the whole year because i love xmas movies. but yeah well, merry xmas to all of you who celebrating it, i hope you all have a blessed xmas this year and happy holiday for every one :D

6 days to 2011. i cant believe 2010 almost over. time flies so very fast you know. it seems only yesterday i was celebrating my 20th bday and now its three months to my 21st. wooaaaa! i dont know whether i should feel excited or sad about the last few days in 2010. for me every thing that had happened throughout this year is amazing. i could never tell you how many lesson i have learned and i also made many mistakes this year. but so far, 2010 is way better than 2009 and was a very fun year to lived.

i have a great life this year!

2010 Favorites
- my birthday
- B for my dkv class
- traveled to places i've ever seen before
- had my own place to live
- 2nd anniversary with tir
- lebaran with mom
- new year's eve at Bali

2010 Not So Much
- got sick and almost die
- lebaran without my sister
- 6 years without dad
- adulthood hardcore life
- haters
- my latest dkv assignment
- some one in my class

talking about 2010 favorites, my last point is new year's eve at Bali. yeay thats right. next wednesday, me and tir will travel along the island and across the sea straight to Bali. so ver excited because this is the first time of our togetherness life we will sail to another island with a different time! yessss! so happy, i cant wait to start packing my bag and shopping for our trip. it must the most fun way to end this year hehe i hope so.

so thats enough for now, i will be back writing my 2011 resolutions :D happy hohoholiday.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010


did i ever tell you how much i really like bon iver?

i think, bon iver is the best in its genre and is the best because it just perfectly fit in my ears every time i hear it. well, esp now. when i feel like i need to rest my head a little bit, i feel sick. not sick really sick, but i think im about to get sick. i hate being sick when it was so close to holiday, esp when i know that i dont have any one around here to look after me :( these past 2 weeks was really tiring me. mom had just visited the town which means i had to accompany her to here and there almost every day. i love to be near my mom, of course i am. but i think, my body condition doesnt. plus, these past 2 weeks me and tir always going out somewhere almost every night. it seems that im too tired. and the weather is totally sucks! its confusing and depressing because sometimes its windy and its rainy and then the sun like 10 meters away from my head and sometimes, god, please just save us. too bad to lived in.

so here i am now, alone in my room because tir are staying at his friend's to sleepover. honestly, i really need him to be here now. you know, when you're sick and you need a little help and care its good to know that you have some one around you. but... lets just being understanding here.

im going back to my bon iver now, and hope to fall asleep really quick. i think sleep is only medicine. i have to be fit and healthy for my Bali trip 10 days from now.

have a great night :D

PS: i wish i could tell my stupid neighbor about the volume of their voices when the speak. god, why sumatrans talk that loud?

Saturday, December 11, 2010

from facebook.

i found it on facebook :

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

(To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

1. i'm 20 and in serious relationship with someone.

2. i'm a downloader. almost everything on my computer i got it via internet.

3. i'm a morning person, but love to go back to sleep after i've had my morning rituals.

4. i love books. it came from my grandfather and my mom. we're books lovers. i cant remember how many book i have now.

5. and my favorite so far is Harry Potter, from first to seventh.

6. i love cats, but afraid of cat's virus that causes sterility. family is what i always dreamed of.

7. i love math back in highschool, because social's class math is so easy and fun \:D/ im the best in the class.

8. i'm obsessed with watches. idk why.

9. some people might think that tv is a stupid box, but i love watching TV.

10. im a blackberry user for almost 1,5 years, but my bbm contact was only 89 people. i dont like chatting, i will call them if i need them

11. i love beach and pool, but im not a watersport person.

12. i have bronchitis and asthma and bad metabolism. i get sick so easily.

13. i love taking care of people i loved. i think i will be a great mother.

14. i love movies. i have a lot like really lot dvds.

15. my bed room is my heaven.

16. my dad died 6 years ago.

17. i cant drive, but i will learn x)

18. i arrange everything. i always sticking with my plan. i get angry when some one cracking my plan without any care. those people should really go to hell.

19. my types for a guy are smart, loving, caring, and religious. i need the perfect imam for my perfect future :D

20. my mom is the greatest woman on earth. she supports me in every thing i do. her trust for me is absolute. she loves and trust my boy. never say no, almost never say no to every plan i made. she thinks im big enough to deciding what i want. i love her so very much.

21. i was born and raised in Moslem family.

22. i hate enemy, but i think i have some.

23. i hate when people talking too loud around me.

24. i'm a clean person.

25. i think writing this 25 facts is silly thing to do, but whatever. i love writing. yeah thats the last fact of me, i love writing.


oh crap i have nothing to do to night. my media player classic wont work so i cant watch my Heima movie :( i miss Tir so much :( so i took a lot of photos, just to kill my loneliness night. haha super silly but i dont care.

Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket

nahh i think thats enough! i will post another more on facebook but ever since i lost all my adobe application, i lost my flash player too, so i have to download it again before i upload the photos :0

by the way, me and tir have got our ticket to Bali for this new year eve!!! so happy! cant wait up 20 days ahead. my mom is in town. makes me happier hehe.

enough writing to night. text me or ping me if you want something from Bali <3

positive thinking

knowing someone hate or doesn't like me, always make me feel better. because i'm not going to continue telling my self that i suck, because i don't. i have made many people happy and will continue. so i'm going to stop feeling like shit and start feeling and thinking better about you dear friend, because i'm a good person and smart and i'm not ugly, and i would make a great companion

Wednesday, December 8, 2010


last week me and the girls went to ice skating. its not my first time to go skating but the last time i skate it was 10 years ago when Istana Plaza's Skating area is still open. so honestly, that day, i totally forgot how to skate.

the first half hour, my friend, Jany, taught me all her knowledge (basically how to NOT fall). and this is surprisingly worked. im so happy that i was the only one who didnt fall that day :D Here's the video i took from our iceland.

and here for the photos

i had a super fun day that day, and im looking forward to do it again, maybe if you wanted to go skate, please ask me and my answer will definitely YES!

Thursday, December 2, 2010


i got the assignment to make a paper about the communication strategy of product/service/campaign for my mid semester exams. after thinking long enough, i decided to chose ONE campaign for my subject. and here it goes..


ONE campaign Pictures, Images and Photos

ONE adalah salah satu organisasi internasional yang melawan kemiskinan dan penyakit yang dapat dicegah seperti HIV/AIDS khususnya di Afrika. ONE berusaha meningkatkan kesadaran masyarakat dan para pemimpin politik dunia untuk membantu kebijakan efektif tentang kesehatan, kebersihan, kemiskinan, dan pendidikan untuk anak-anak.ONE didirikan oleh Bono dan beberapa tokoh kemanusian dunia maupun dari Afrika sendiri.
PadaONE, mereka mencapai perubahan melalui advokasi. Mereka memegang pemimpin dunia untuk memperhitungkan komitmen yang telah mereka buat untuk memerangi kemiskinan ekstrim, dan mereka berkampanye untuk kebijakan pembangunan yang lebih baik, bantuan lebih efektif dan reformasi perdagangan. Mereka juga mendukung demokrasi yang lebih besar, akuntabilitas dan transparansi untuk memastikan kebijakan untuk mengalahkan kemiskinan diterapkan secara efektif.

ONE bekerja sama dengan para ahli kebijakan, para pemimpin Afrika, dan aktivis anti-kemiskinan untuk memobilisasi opini publik agar mendukung metode teruji dan terbukti untuk menanggulangi kemiskinan. Pada ONE, mereka percaya perjuangan melawan kemiskinan bukan tentang amal, tetapi tentang keadilan dan kesetaraan.
Dengan bergabung bersama gerakan ONE, anda memiliki kesempatan untuk mengambil tindakan untuk dukungan yang efektif, inisiatif terbukti memberikan hasil di tempat-tempat termiskin di planet ini: masyarakat melindungi keluarga dari penyakit yang dapat dicegah seperti AIDS dan malaria, menempatkan anak-anak di sekolah, memberikan kesempatan ekonomi dan menstabilkan. Bila anda bergabung ONE, anda bergabung dengan jutaan orang dari kanan, kiri dan pusat yang percaya bahwa tempat tinggal anda tidak harus menentukan apakah anda hidup. ONE meminta suara Anda untuk membantu dalam gerakan orang dan organisasi yang bekerja untuk mengakhiri kemiskinan di seluruh dunia.
ONE dan 2 juta anggotanya sekarang, bersama dengan organisasi pendahulunya Data ONE dan non-profit mitra, telah memainkan peran penting dalam membujuk pemerintah untuk mendukung program-program yang efektif dan kebijakan yang membuat perbedaan yang terukur dalam memerangi kemiskinan dan penyakit. Sebagai hasil dari program tersebut, saat ini hampir 4 juta orang Afrika memiliki akses terhadap pengobatan AIDS yang menyelamatkan jiwa, naik dari hanya 50.000 orang pada tahun 2002. Malaria kematian telah terbelah dua di negara di Afrika dalam waktu kurang dari 2 tahun dan anak-anak 42 juta lebih sekarang pergi ke sekolah.

Pada One, kami tidak meminta uang anda, tapi kami meminta suara anda..

Analisa Kasus

1. New Wave Metode
Karakter yang ingin ONE sampaikan kepada masyarakat adalah kepedulian terhadap sesama manusia. Mempersatukan seluruh masyarakat di dunia melalui satu wadah untuk satu tujuan mulia yaitu kehidupan yang lebih baik di masa yang akan datang.

Target audience ONE sendiri meliputi hampir seluruh masyarakat di dunia, baik simpatisan dan tokoh politik, maupun warga sipil pada umumnya yang memiliki kepedulian terhadap sesama manusia dan memiliki kesadaran tinggi kepada pentingnya penyelesaian masalah sosial yang ada bagi kepentingan bersama. Selain itu kepada seluruh pengguna jasa internet sehingga memudahkan bagi mereka untuk ikut serta menyuarakan pendapat mereka meskipun berada di belahan bumi yang berbeda.
Target audience difokuskan kepada pria / wanita berusia 18 – 50 tahun, berpendidikan, dan berstatus ekonomi cukup sampai menengah ke atas.

Co – Creation
Co creation yang dilakukan oleh ONE ada 2 macam yaitu :
Dengan melakukan registrasi secara online kita sudah dapat bergabung dengan gerakan ONE : ACT NOW yang berarti kita ikut menandatangani petisi yang akan dikirimkan kepada para pemimpin politik di dunia.
Gerakan ONE : ACT NOW saat ini tengah mengangkat tentang gerakan agar pada tahun 2015 tidak aka nada bayi yang lahir dengan HIV/AIDS. Dimulai dengan keikutsertaan Amerika Serikat diharapkan negara berkembang lainnya akan ikut serta.
ONE blog adalah suatu situs harian gerakan anti kemiskinan. Blog ini dikelola oleh staf ONE dan dapat diisi oleh siapa saja yang ingin berpartisipasi dengan gerakan ini.

One mempunyai sebuah gerakan Spread The World sebagai salah satu bentuk conversation. Spread The World adalah sebuah email yang dikirimkan melalui orang ke orang, dimana isi dari email tersebut sudah disediakan oleh ONE dan tinggal melakukan copy paste sehingga langsung dapat dikirimkan kepada semua orang, kerabat dan keluarga kita.
Ada pun isi dari email tersebut adalah :
Subject: Join me in the fight against extreme poverty


I've just signed up to ONE and the fight against extreme poverty. I'd like you to join me.
By supporting ONE, you have the opportunity to take action to support effective, proven initiatives that are delivering results in the poorest places on the planet: protecting families from preventable diseases like AIDS and malaria, putting children in school, providing economic opportunity and stabilising communities.
Join me and millions of people around the world who believe that where you live shouldn't determine whether you live:
Together as ONE we can make a difference!


Kemudian selain itu, ONE juga memiliki ONE WIGDET dan ONE BANNER yang dapat diinstall di website atau blog pribadimu sebagai jalan pintas untuk mengakses ONE.

2. Legacy 4P Metode

ONE adalah situs kampanye kemanusian yang bergerak dibidang pemberantasan kemiskinan, kebodohan, dan AIDS khususnya di Afrika. ONE dapat diakses melalui dari seluruh dunia. Tujuan dari ONE sendiri adalah memperbaiki kehidupan melalui petisi yang didukung oleh suara seluruh masyarakat dunia. Dengan harapan mendesak para pemimpin politik dunia untuk bergerak membantu menyelesaikan masalah ini.
Harga dari satu suara yang kita berikan kepada ONE sebenarnya tidak dapat dihitung dalam mata uang mana pun. Dan ONE sendiri tidak menjual apa pun selain ajakan untuk membantu sesama. Seperti yang muncul dalam slogan ONE sendiri yaitu, “we don’t need your money, we need your voice”
ONE terbagi dalam beberapa kegiatan. Saat ini gerakan kampanye yang sedang dilakukan oleh ONE adalah,
1. Live in a World Where : NO CHILD IS BORN WITH HIV
Sebagai bentuk perayaan Hari Anti AIDS sedunia, ONE melakukan gerakan 2015 NO CHILD BORN WITH HIV, dimana mereka membuat petisi yang dapat didukung oleh siapa saja dengan melakukan registrasi online via situs ONE, serta dengan video kampanye yang telah tersebar dijejaring-jejaring sosial (video terlampir ).
Gerakan ini ditujukan untuk membantu wanita-wanita di Afrika memperbaiki taraf hidupnya baik di bidang kesehatan, pendidikan, bahkan dibidang politik.

Adapun gerakan rutin yang dilakukan oleh ONE adalah sebagai berikut,
1. Spread The World
Yaitu menyampaikan pesan berantai melalui email untuk mengajak seluruh lapisan masyarakat yang ada di dunia untuk ikut menyumbangkan suaranya demi membantu sesama.
2. ONE Blog
Wadah dimana siapa pun, kapan pun, dimana pun, dapat menyuarakan aspirasinya demi membantu terwujudnya kehidupan yang lebih baik.

ONE telah melakukan berbagai promosi yaitu :
1. Commercial Videos
2. ONE widget, adalah aplikasi untuk handphone, smartphone dan android untuk dapat mengakses ONE dimana pun kapan pun.
3. ONE Banner, adalah jalan pintas untuk mengakses situs ONE dari personal bloh ataupun personal account lainnya.

how do you think? you dont have to understand what the heck is this marketing communication strategy means, i hope after reading this article and watching the videos, you will be interested to give your voice to help our sisters and brothers, help the world fighting against HIV/AIDS to protect your self from HIV/AIDS.

visit ONE or sign up via ONE Banner from my page.

Stay Safe.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

funny people. i like

as i've said before, me and Tir will do more on video. and here there are, im proudly present our latest videos on youtube!

actually, these are our old videos, we took it around 2008. its good to finally uploaded it!

i lost my will to write. life is pretty good nowadays and a lot of things i wanted to write right now, but it seems that people now become so easily emotional of what im writing. its funny to see how stupid there are.

so hope y'all enjoy the video, sit tight and wait up for our next videossss!


ps: im so happy because there is no morning class today! its good to have nothing to do all morning! i have my MGMT here with me, heard they're coming to the town, so excited! tell me what're you listening to this morning! click here muah!

Sunday, November 28, 2010


last Thursday, me and the girls did photoshoot for our photography assignment and here's some photos ririt took for me.




its kinda funny to see my self in the shoot where i usually saw it on tv. and i really enjoyed it! looking forward to do more photoshoot like this hihi.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

happy birthday bun & tirto

HAPPY BITHDAY to me and Tir!

finaleeeeee! im so happy because we finally made it. 2 years maybe a short time for a lifetime but 2 years is long enough to something serious, right? im so happy i could do my monkey dance right now. well, me and Tir celebrated our anniversary last Tuesday. we watched Harry Potter which i found out so boring, good but not good enough, and grab our favorite food in the world, japanese!
and now, im about to get ready for our second celebration party at the villa with our friends. we're going to have barbeque party! if you think you now us quite well, then you're invited!

here's some photos and video we took from last Tuesday. another silly faces photos hehe :p me and Tir wanted to do videos more, so just wait up until we finished our next video :D





click here for full view.

im seriously happy right now. last year Tir gave me Dieng for our anniversary gift and this year he gave me BALI!!!!! naaaah, i cant wait. he gave me Bali plus his whole love!! you all should be jealous and hate me and stop following my twitter because im the happiest girl in the world!

Saturday, November 20, 2010


did you know how it feels to suddenly awakened in the middle of your beauty sleep?

it sucks and confusing. because you will find your self staring at your room doing nothing. hungry and thirsty. and that's me now.

well, life today is running in a weird way. what i think my worst is now beginning to recover. i finally enjoy being a designer. i've just finished my redesign assignment very well. im so proud of my self. awesome. but what i think my best is now turned to be blur. 2 days from now is my anniversary with Tir but now i found both of us standing back to back. of course i can not blame him for all this madness. i started the fight. well not fight like really fight. but i started it. what had happened between me and Tir is unwriteable here. because it will sound super silly. but i cant help my self not to think that way. because both us have a huge jealous monster behind our back and there is no way we could stop it. it bugging me. i dont want to feel this way. this is not right. but if my worry was right.. i dont even dare to imagine :(

i supposed to be confuse about picking the right gift for him now. and i now im confused to find out is he or is he not. so sad. really sad.


Sunday, November 14, 2010

be friend with Katakana

For me personally, Katakana is not a foreign word anymore. My sister studied Japanese literature and now she lives in japan. so my ears and my eyes are so used to it. and some of us who may have received Japanese language lessons while still in high school must already know a bit about katakana. and the rest maybe still blind with this katakana stuff.

so here i am, to share knowledge and to remind again all about this. Katakana is japanese syllabary, one component of the Japanese writing system along with Hiragana and Kanji, and in some cases the latin alphabet (romaji). The world Katakana means "fragmentary kana". Katakana are characterized by short, straight strokes, and angular corners, and are the simplest of the Japanese scripts. is it me or am i really sound so boring? all this information is available on the internet of course. why do i bother to wrote down again. one click and google will show you everything you wished to know about Katakana it self.

i've been doing research about the most important language in the world and Japanese in number 8 after English, French, Spanish, Russian, Arabic, chinese and German. This fact is surprising to me because i was, until today, just knew how important Japanese is. Back in high school, i always skipped my Japanese class because i felt i wasnt so important to me and weird and freakin' hard. i never imagined before that i should write "NA" but i didnt supposed to write the letters N and A. i bet i will spend ages to write my own name! and when i was face to face to the fact that im not an anime lover or their music lover and whatsoever really makes me dislike the language more and more.

but now everything has changed. when my lecture gave me this task to write presentation about Katakana, i was thinking if i only give the meaning and examples it would be so seriously boring. so i read more and more articles about Katakana and suddenly my eyes open wider. this language is important. Japan as we all know, controls the industry, technology, design, fashion even music. you dont have to be an anime lover to like it. as the wikipedia said, katakana is the simplest of Japanese scripts. so it will makes a good and easy first step for us to learn. as a young designer, we try so hard to rule the world by our design, and to rule the world, we have to be part of it. and language is the key to that door.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

we can, can't we?

this is what happens if i spend too much time alone and doing nothing. im thinkin too much.

this isnt the first time i had a relationship with someone. i wont mention how many times i have a relationship, but the main thing is, relationships have given me many lesson to learn.

this is the first relationship that i expect to be my last. a week from now we will celebrating our 2 years anniversary. and from my experience, a relationship when it was 2 years old will naturally change. our relationship wont be about i love you and i miss you anymore. its about you're so boring and our love is amazingly monotonous. sounds so sad and pathetic. well, honestly, im so scared. i dont want that cruel things happened to my relationship. i want this love long last forever. i want to in love, like really love forever. can we do that?

Friday, November 12, 2010

i blog

tell me what you think about my new blog title?

inspired by my travel magazine for last semester assignment, iTravel, i've decided to change my blog headline to i blog. sounds like apple's die hard fans right? haha well, im not, but i blog really sounds like me right now. i blog almost every time i sit alone in my room, and i blog every time my heart beats faster and slower, i blog like my entire time. so here it is, my i blog.

i have this assignment to make a paper for presentation. its about katakana ( Japanese's type of language i suppose ) and the other is about whatever i want to write. so here i am, drowning in the ocean of choices because a lot of thing i want to write nowadays. i am desperately want to write about things that really annoyed me, but i wonder if that important enough to tell to every one at my class. im thinking about writing something about New Wave Marketing, my lecture told me in my last Management of Advertising class about it. its about the era where every one could be speaker for every thing. every one tweeting or updating status or even blogging about every thing in the world. it could be good or it could be bad. this is really got my nerve, because as an internet user, i am the part of the new wave marketing era. how cool is that?? i will try my best to write about that and i'll post it so you could read and tell me what do you think.

actually, right now im not really in a good condition. my stomach is sick. something doesnt work so well down there. im not losing my mood to eat, i just dont know what i wanted to eat. every thing seems so tasteless for me. i tried like every food in the world but nothing is really fit on it. and i feel like there's an air inside my stomach that wont come out, you know we called it kembung. trust me, it feels so freakin not good.

my anniversary party will be held about 2 weeks from now. i hope every thing goes as i plan. but right now i will focus to my stomach's attack and my assignment. i will blog soon i finished my new wave marketing paper. ciao!

ps: dont forget to watch the walking dead eps.2 to night!

Sunday, November 7, 2010


i was listening to stars and suddenly i feel a rush sadness coming over my chest. i was sad and missing Tir so much. what happened between us yesterday and today was nothing. i cant write the details but seriously it was nothing. it was only a joke and i dont know why it turned to be weird. yesterday, i asked him why i didnt get his text and he said he doesnt get any from me so he didnt give me ones. i was like, okay its me being busy here so why he didnt want to do the first move to text me? the whole texting thing is weird and it gets weirder now. i mean, how can some one is possibly living in texting rules? i dont want to put all the blame to him, but just, seriously?

Saturday, November 6, 2010

morning's thought

its 6.30 in the morning and i was awake :D its good to finally have a free time to finally blogging again. there are no interesting subject to write so i just post photos. but this morning, i will write a bit more.

well, like i said, i love november. i began everyday with a hope to be better day for me. it worked a little. i just had a great saturday ever and quality time with my friends. my assignment, maybe my hope isnt that strong for this part, so my assignment is still so-so. my relationship, mmm i always have this strange feeling every time i try to explain how my relationship works. mine is not a prefect romantic one. people might see that we're always together and laughing and loving and whatever, but inside the house, we're full of fighting and anger and jealousy, but its not like we're in so much trouble that we should be just breaking up, we're just ordinary. we love and then we fight and then we love again. sometimes it hurts my feeling to have a fight with him almost every day, but its kinda sweet because after we fight, we always love each other more.


ps: 15 days from now is our 2nd anniversary. sooo exciteddddd <3

pizza girls




last sunday, me and the girls decided to spent extra money to have closing celebration of the hated month: October. three of us have a date together at the one of the most famous pizza at town. it was so fun tho we knew we just ate a lot of fat and will ruin all of our diet program, but screw diet, we're just too happy to know that october was finally over!!!!!


yesterday was a great saturday ever.

its graduation day for class 2006, garage sale and seminar of template. me and the girls sell some of our clothes and cup corn. actually it was the first time for me selling food like that and that was so freakin hectic but we made a lot of money :D

every year, we always have this celebration party for graduators, and it always come up with different theme. this year theme was halloween. but i dont know why, i found this Russel from Up at the halloween costume party.



adorable right? maybe a little bit out of the line but this Russel kid was too cute to be true. haha but he's not the only one who's got my attention, i found another "cute" boy at the seminar. he's not wearing any costume, but he's just exactly look like..


ARIEL PETERPAN! hahaha i cant stop laughin my pants off when i saw him for the first time! look exactly like him. his name is prabu and he's proud to be called Ariel.

well, that was just a piece of a whole great saturday. i'll post more photos as soon as i get them from jani's camera. happy graduation for class of 2006, congratulation to 2008 and 2009, and welcome 2010 :D

Thursday, November 4, 2010

sweet november

i wrote this post title with very big expectations.

there's no word can exactly explain how excited i am about this month. im so, so happy that finally october was over! god, what a tough month!

november is my favorite month after march of course. for me november is a month of love. yesterday, november 4 was my parents anniversary. their love story is a love story that i really wanted to do. my dad was a hardcore man, but he is the most loyal person i ever knew in this world. he done everything he could for my mom. and my mom, she used to be a career woman before she got married, but after becoming wife, she left everything and gave herself entirely to my father and family. she never left the house without my dad permission. she always took care of every thing my dad needs. and one thing that makes their love very special to me is, only death separates them..

november 23 is my anniversary with tir. 2 years this year. i cant say that im so happy, im happy and scared at the same time. i wonder if our love could be like my parents. but who knows? all we both can do is pray and live as possible. i wanna be like my mom for him. really am. so we have this plan to celebrate our 2nd anniversary together with friends at my family's villa. but because november 23 is tuesday which in the middle of the week, maybe we should find another day so that every one could come. its not like we will have a party all night long whatsoever, we'd like to share our happiness with our close friends and pray for each others. i hope our plan will work well, and make sure you get invited.

ps: my biggest sorry for all merapi's victim. couldnt do anything more except praying for all of you :(

Saturday, October 30, 2010


this post i dedicated special to my sister.

here we go, yesterday, mom and i decided to took a walk to one of the oldest shopping center in town. we wanted to let go our hectic week for a while. so, when we got to the mall, a sales girl came to us and she gave us a peeler, she said it was free, some kind of merchandise from their company. i said thanks and she said we got a chance to win another prizes if we want to give a little our time to open the voucher or something like that, so mom took one and opened it, i couldnt believe my eyes when i see we just won this :

picture was removed by

a super expensive electric stove! OMG! it was just in time when we're about to move to the new house this end of the year! the sales girl gave my mom a hug and she said my mom was the luckiest woman in the mall today. i know right! i mean, in my life i never ever won any prizes from voucher! its crazy! so we had a sit and the sales girl started to talk about this and that the winner must to do, she said she wants to take a picture of my mom with the stove for the magazine. i never thought this is all lie before she asked my mom about her credit card, my mom gave a look her credit cards and the sales girl said my mom with an extra prize from the credit card, it was a food processor. the situation getting weird and weird when the sales girl is keep talking and talking the same crap. she said according to the rules from the company, my mom could take a prizes, electric stove and food processor if my mom bought something from their product and all their product's prizes're above 5 million rupiah. my mom started to laugh. she said, oh you got me! you said we just won and we're the luckiest but the truth is we're here because our bad luck. the sales girl keeps talking she said my mom will save a lot of her money. my mom said she doesnt want a 5 millions rupiah panci to cook a noodle. and the sales girl's face turned from a fully smiling face into a dead pale girl and she said oh thanks for the time here take the peeler. i couldnt hide my annoyed face and i said come on mom, we just won a peeler!

all the afternoon i spent the time laughing our ass off and talking about how close we are to the fool. haha, if my sister was here i know she would laughing her pants off too. damn, i cant believe so many people do bad stuff just to get some money. life is rough.

ps: i cant resize the picture, dont know why :p

Saturday, October 23, 2010

random activity

i suppose to writing about our last trip to cibodas right now, but i am in a serious condition of stuck. you know everything moves around me seem love to bugging me. i need to lock my door and turn my light off all the time! just to keeping them away from me. i wish i could write about them! ah bloody stupid things!

i have no idea what the heck is going wrong with the weather. one time you cant even name how big the rain is, and the other time you can easily feel the sun like a feet away from your head!!! it is pretty suck because you cant decided what clothes you're gonna wear. and also im getting close to my menstrual period, so all i can thinking now is i wanna eat eat and eat a lot of salty and spicy food!!!!! due the reason of my desire to eat, supermarket is my new kind of heaven on earth. i love to shopping to supermarket all the freakin time! my neighbor even called me a supermarket-holic! its kinda sad because it sound more like i am a consumptive person but the truth is i just love the feeling when i step my foot at supermarket, i mean all the good stuff were there hacking by the rack. the smell of fresh vegetables and fruits, the new faces you met, the children running while their mommy picking something cheap but still delicious for supper, supermarket is like heaven full with stuff we needed! sometimes i dont even buy something, literally, i only bought a juice or snack but the feeling i get from walking around at supermarket is amazing. sometimes i imagine my self maybe 3 or 4 years from now, i'll walking down ath supermarket with my small little daughter looking for something to cook and my husband will be with my son, walking at automotive's area looking screwdriver to fix my son little car. what a life.

today is sunday and that makes tomorrow is monday. back to daily routine life. morning class again afternoon class which killing my pants off! i hope every one have a good last lazy day today before get your asses back to reality.

i miss Tir so much. i guess i better looking something to do and wait for Tir comes. ciao!

Friday, October 22, 2010

a piece of life




in my college life, i made a number of friends. not much but you wont be able to count it with your 10 fingers. some of them are sucker. type kind of friend who stalked and followed. some of them always wanted to know everything happened in the world, some of them liked to eat my food, some of them loved to pretend,some of them are so damn childish and bugging me, you name it, sucker will always be suck. but these girls, well i couldn't say they are perfect, but these girls are good, just a kind of friend i needed the most. this is the 3rd year we learn together to be designer. even thought not all us really wanted to be designer for our permanent job. me, i want to be a wife-mother-house, and ghessy, the one who wear polo shirt on the photos, she was good at cook. when i said good, it means really good. screw the other wanna be cooker, she's the bomb at her battle. ririt, the one with red jacket, was in love with robots and photograph along with dita, the Chinese one. different from juon, the one with yellow watch, i think she will be a good designer, her free hand drawing is stunning and she is amazingly funny. you wont know how funny she is until you talk face to face with her. and then we have nanda and via, the two with jilbab, from all of our brutally things, thank god we have them because they're so calm and some kind of reminder to us to watch our behavior. hehe. and the last one is jani, she is not in the photos because i lost her track when we took this photos. but she's good. she's the tough one. strongest girl in our little circle.

named their head as my bestfriend is seriously hard. you know you just cant pick someone and label it with BFF tag. but these girl, i hope we can be friend as long as know each other. i hope they will be on my top guest list on my wedding day. haha..

23 for 23

happy anniversary to us!

its good to be writing again about our anniversary. 23 months! a month to go to 2 years straight! im so happy yet so scared at the same time. usually, every relationship that has been aged 2 years, will begin to experience problems which different from the others that ever existed.

these past two weeks, me and Tir had some fights about things that seriously we shouldn't yell about. Tir hates when it comes for my silence. he said it bugging his concentration at work. he said im causing a mess on his head. at my point of view, my silence movement is caused by him. his words and the way he said things to me really hurting my heart. when he said no, its like he said it with caps lock mode on, like NO! and last wednesday, when we were eating our dinner at Cipanas, we fight about our meal. what kind of sick couple fighting about a meal? just to honest, for a sec i thought this isn't right. me and him, we're fighting about nothing, im clueless about what will happen to our relationship in the future if we still fighting about something that literally never existed?

so last night, im spending my anniversary night all by my self to think. re-think everything all over again. im in love. like a big big big love. see when we're in love, we wont be able to see our love ones sad or upset, we couldnt accept if our love ones taking a step backward for our arms. we want to be together, silence is disaster, it makes both of us feel so far from each other. we want to be together, even in one plate of our dinner meal. and i guess that's the reason why me and Tir fights. because we're so in love. and last when he called, i never feel so sure about anything in life the way im sure about my feeling for him.

so today, before i started writing this post. i began my day with a hope for me and him to be in love forever. be to fighting and laughing after it.

happy anniversary love.

Friday, October 15, 2010


do you think im weird for enjoying my self more than anything in the world?

Monday, October 11, 2010

hi, i'm back!

i'm posting from my new laptop :D

it's been almost a month i'm away from the computer and this makes me also be separated temporarily from the internet world and all i can say is.. geez, i'm so happy to be back! life without internet connection, for me is almost impossible. it's like i lost my other eye. some of you may think i'm over dramatical over this, but seriously, i always need ( without logical explanation) to be online. there's always a reason for me to get in touch with this world. that's why i feel so alive to night when i, for the very first time after a month, online, updating my status and blog from my brand new laptop :D

i have a lot of things to share and my fingers are so excited to typing again and downloading again hahaha.. hello internet world, i'm so back!


Monday, October 4, 2010


again. bad luck happened.

tirto just lost his motorcycle. Police number: B 6391 KXS at Ciumbeluit 73 around 21.30 - 22.30, today, Monday Oct 4,2010.

All I want right now is not to believe this is happening again. I just lost my laptop 2 weeks ago and now Tir lost his motorcycle. Ya Allah.. Innanilahi..

Learn from what had happened to me 2 weeks ago, if we losing something, all we have to do is just let it go. Deep inside my humanly emotion, I want to yell and curse and mad and cry and even maybe hit or kill someone right now. I want to have someone to blame. 'What if' was all over my head. What if we never came to Fikong's? What if I decided to go to ATM first? Maybe this is won't happening. But all I have to do, and all I can do is just let it go.

A friend of mine told me, life is a circle. Once you're on the top, you should prepare to fly down and once you're down, be proud because you're about to be on top. This is what I need to believe right now. I need to believe that everything happened for a reason and this time it will be for a good reason. I need to believe that God have a very beautiful plan for me and Tir. I need to believe that God took something from us because God want to give something more for us. I need to believe that today, after all the thing had happened, God loves us much more.

Let it go.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

room mate

here's the thing, since this would be my first post from pc after my laptop's gone (i borrowed Tir's because idk when i will buy the new one T.T ), i thought it should be very special. and because we just took some photos, i deciced to post them, well pictures paint a thousand words right? here we go!







if you noticed, almost all of our webcam photos, we always making this face, silly faces, and now we're so obsessed of america's next top model and we're trying to looked like them, fierce! haha well, this is my new room, i will post another photo of the room as soon as i have new laptop! seriously i need pc so bad :( being away from internet world is very very freakin hurt.

well, i guess its time for me, and you too, to jump up to bed. 4 am in the morning. Tir was already asleep. speaking about Tir, he's trying to grow his mustache now. very cute. i'll write again later, there is like a huge mountain things to tell.

i send my love for you from my room.


Thursday, September 23, 2010

my bad

I had a worst morning of my life.

I don't know what is wrong with me,it seems like bad luck won't leave me alone. Last week, I lost my laptop. It was massive attack for me. And now when I'm about to let this thing up, another massive, huge worst thing happened to me.

I'm sick.

First, my hand won't stop kesemutan. Tir needs to take care of my hands with hot water all night long. And then, yesterday, my 22 months anniversary, it supposed to be a romantic love day for me and tir. But it turned to be disaster. I got fever. All my body was hurt. Plus I'm on my period. Great, sick in the middle of the time when you keep on bleeding is suck. Trust me. Tir bought me panadol and I ate it. About an hour, I feel amazingly healthy. We walked to buy some food. After we got back to home, I felt the fever is coming again. My body started to shaking. I wore double jacket and tir wraped me in the blanket but it seems kinda wasted because I keep on shaking and the shaking is getting crazier and crazier. We fell a sleep for a couple minutes and when im a woke, my body is shaking like hell. I felt so, so cold. My feets hurted, my entire body was hurted. Tir couldn't even touch me. My teeth is on the battle and when I started to control it, hold it, my head was like this close to pop, my neck was hurted. Tir made me hot tea, but I couldn't even hold the glass. I started to cry and tir got panic attack. He asked me to go to the hospital but I'm sure I won't make it because it was to cold and all in my head was I want my mom, omg I can't handle this, this is too much. Tir tried to call his friend,but it was around 4 in the morning, no one is awake. Tir put some balsem on my back and my stomach but it wasn't help. The shaking is getting worse and worse. Tir kept on scrub my back and I feel like sick and about to throw up. And then I throwed up. Twice. And the shaking is slowly slowly gone. Tir hugs me and said he was so scared and panic. He made me a hot water and kept on scrubing my back. The shaking was completely gone, tho the fever and the headache and my sick stomach were still hanging there.

I know I couldn't blame the weather for my fever. My eating habit was a mess. I eat only when I'm hungry. I don't like this and that. A picky person. I eat chily like maniac. I won't stop until I feel I'm about to blow up. I don't like meat and rice. No wonder when the bad weather hits me, I'm so so so weak and so easy to get sick. Its all my bad. Really really my bad.

The lost of my laptop and the almost die part make me realize that I don't know what would I be without Tir. He always always always there for me. All this time I was complaining about everything. I saw him as a careless man. He wasn't there on the weekend. He wasn't there on this and that. But I finally realize I was wrong. He was always on the front row for me. All the matter for him is me being okay. I was so stupid. So blind. So childish. And once again it was my bad.

So now, I'm lying on my bed. Tir have a class. I'm sweating like a pig now. Hopefully I'll be okay really soon.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

cerita dari kosan

Laptop saya baru aja ilang kamis, 16 september 2010 di kosan.

Yang kenal saya pasti nanya,ko di kosan?ngapain ngekos kan ada rumah?iya,saya skg ngekos di salah satu kosan paling baru daerah pertigaan gandok soalnya semenjak kakak saya pindah saya mutusin buat ngekos biar gak sepi.trs kenapa disitu padahal jauh dr itenas?soalnya,saya gak pgn terlalu dkt dgn kampus dan karena saya (dan siapapun yang ngeliat kosan saya skg) pasti lsg suka banget sama kosan ini.seriusan!tp ternyata semua ini malah berujung gak enak.

Karena kakak saya pindah agustus akhir jd saya mutusin buat mulai ngekos september,tp pas agustus saya udah mesen kamar di kosan itu buat september,menurut yg punya kosan sih kosannya penuh dan ga janji kalo september,akhirnya karena keburu jatuh cinta saya bayar dr mulai agustus walaupun gak ditempatin.gapapalah ya demi dapet gitu.pas saya kesana buat dp dan ngsh fotokopi ktp saya dikasih tau ttg peraturan,ya standarlah peraturannya tp termasuk kategori kosan 'asik'.yaaa saya seneng ga rugi deh bayar segitu.

Keganjalan mulai kerasa pas saya lg mindah2 barang sekitar awal september,disitu dipasang pengumuman kalo temen yang mau nginep mesti bayar 20rb dan ga boleh masuk lebih dr jam 10.loh ko jadi gini ya?tapi saya sih diem2 aja hbs mau libur lebaran jadi ya ntarlah ditanyain lagi libur dulu aja.

Pas lg libur lebaran,saya ditlp sama yg pnya kosan,katanya kapan mau bayar bulan september,loh kan saya udah bayar 2 bulan ko dibayar lg?taunya karena saya dpt meja sama lemari saya mesti bayar bulan september karena yg semestinya bulan september dipake buat garansi bayar bulan paling ngerti sih tapi yoweeslah bayar.

Nah pas rabu (sept 15) kemaren saya plg dr libur lebaran sekaligus jadi hari pertama saya tinggal dikosan. Akhirnya nempatin juga nih kosan!hehe malem itu saya ga nginep dikosan tpnya cuman naro barang aja.kamis (sep 16) saya pulang ke kosan sekitar jam stgh 1 siang sama tirto.trs saya dikosan sampe skitar jam 3an.selama dikosan saya ga ketemu sama siapa2, emang belom punya temen juga dikosan ini wong baru sehari juga. Pas jam 3,saya pergi ke kosan fikong yang letaknya cuman 2 menit lah dr kosan saya. Di dalem kamar saya ada tv, laptop dan barang2 kamar lainnya. Saya kunci pintu kunci jendela tp tv saya nyalain supaya disangkain ada orang gak kosong. Pas saya turun ke bawah saya ga ketemu siapa2 juga.Perlu dikasih tau ya kosan saya ini bentuknya minimalis.pintunya depan otomatis kekunci kalo ditutup dan ada penjaganya. jadi saya percaya aja ninggalin barang berharga dikamar. Taunya sore itu hujan besar jadi saya ga bisa cepet2 plg. Yaudah sekalian makan aja, eh pas lg makan yg punya kosan nlp katanya kosan kemalingan. Saya buru2 plg tuh kan,eh taunya kamar saya dan hampir semua kamar di lantai saya dibobol, 4 laptop ilang termasuk laptop saya. Kesel banget ga sih ko bisa gitu yaaaa? Baru aja nyobain kosan ini udah begini.

Akhirnya heboh2 kan tuh sekosan, si yang punya kosannya dtg, dia bilang sama saya nanti kita obrolin lagi gmn enaknya.yaudah oke aja saya mah itu udah nunjukin banget dia punya niat bagus. Malem itu juga kita ke kantor polisi lapor ini itu bikin surat ilang. Dan malem itupun berakhir ga jelas buat saya, ya allah gimana blgnya coba sama org tua.

Besoknya, org tua saya dtg ke kosan mau liat knp sih sebenernya,pgnnya sih ketemu sama yg pnya kosan tp kata si penjaga kosan ga tau kapan dia datengnya. Org tua saya sih blgnya percuma dicari2 kemana juga,barang kaya gitu,hp laptop,kalo udh ilang susah dilacaknya,jadi mesti direlain,skg minta kebijakan yg punya kosan aja gimana. Saya jg setuju sih jadi yaudah saya santai2 aja sambil nunggu kabar dr yg pnya kosan. Seharian itu saya sama temen2 saya yang kehilangan gak ada kabar apa2 dr yg punya kosan.mulai deh tuh kita panik2.dari situ keluar cerita2 ttg kosan ini,ya air suka matilah,internetlah,mati lampulah,jamuranlah,peraturan yang 20rb kalo nginep itu,sampe pembayaran yang dipaksa-paksa. Loh loh ini kosan kenapa ya?

Puncaknya hari ini,kenapa saya mutusin buat nulis di blog. Saya tau yang baca blog saya gak banyak, tp kalo ada yang baca ini info buat kalian dan tolong ksh tau sama temen2nya yg lain yah.hari ini saya minta ibu saya buat nelpon yg punya kosan buat nanya gmn sih ini tuh,ktanya dia mau nanya sama bapaknya,karena yg ngurus kosan seumuran kita,baru dia mau ngabarin ibu saya lagi. Kata ibu saya sih saya mesti ngomong juga sama bapaknya,yaudah akhirnya saya telpon,dan jawaban yg saya terima dari bapak kosan lebih bikin sakit hati.udah ilang laptop diginiin lagi.hebat banget!pertama saya nanya kenapa jendela kamar ga dipasang teralis dan jawabannya: kalo kamu tau dikosan ini gak pake teralis kenapa kamu mau ngekos disini?.waw banget ga sih.seharusnya sebagai yang punya kosan dia udah mikirin semuanya sblm dia buka kosan.skg kan kesannya nyalahin saya yang ngekos disini,ya kan?kedua si bapak terus2an blg kalo ini musibah,yaaa tau saya juga ini musibah,apalagi buat saya lebih dari musibah,dan pas ditanya kira2 ada kemungkinan pertanggungjawaban dr dia gak,dia blg engga karena dia udah ngasih kunci sebagai alat pengaman kamar kosan.saya juga tau dimana2 setiap kehilangan dikosan ga mungkin diganti sama yang punya kosan,tp itu kalo di peraturan ada tulisan dilarang menyimpang barang2 berharga dikamar kehilangan bukan menjadi tanggung jawab kosan,atau yang ilang cuman satu kamar karena lupa ngunci ato gimana,tp ini gak ada peraturan dan yang dibobol tuh lebih dari 7 kamar!kita sih sebagai yang ngekos udh ngelakuin apa yg harus kita lakuin,kunci pintu dan jendela.skg tinggal gimana pengelola menjaga dari luar kamar,ya kan? Si bapak bilang dia gakan ganti dan kalo saya gak nyaman silakan keluar dr kosan. ya ampun gitu bgt sih. Oke kalo dia ga mau ganti(padahal kita cuman mau diganti 50% loh ga full),setidaknya dia bisa baik2 kan sama saya. Bisa kan setidaknya ikut merasa kehilangan. Kalo skg kan kesannya dia jadi balik marah sama saya. Aneh kan? Belom lagi masalah air dan segala macem ga tau deh gmn cara ngatasinnya kalo tanggepan dia udah begini.hehe nasipppp.

Jadi buat temen2 yg tau tempat kosan yg saya maksut dan sempet kepikiran pgn ngekos disini bisa belajar dr kejadian yang saya alamin supaya ga kejadian sama kalian.bilangin sama temen2nya juga yah..kalo yang pgn tau kosannya, email saya aja nanti saya ksh tau. Saya ga maksut ngejelekin siapa2 disini, saya cuman pengen ngasih tau informasi ini biar ga kejadian lagi dan pelajaran buat kita semua.

Jujur aja susah bgt saya harus iklas kalo kaya gini ceritanya.dengan harga kosan yang segini saya ngarepin sesuatu yang lebih dr ini. Tp saya tau saya mau ga mau harus iklas ini mah. Biarin aja semuanya diurus sama yang di atas. Tanggungjawab sama yang diatas itu gakan bisa dibayar sama laptop atau dengan nyuruh saya kelua dari kosan.

Haaaah legaa udah cerita.
Hati2 yah semuanya!

Thursday, September 2, 2010

welcoming lebaran :D

So, hows your puasa? mine is greaaaat. im feeling so cool about puasa this year,i dont get as hungry as i did last year maybe its my strong mindedness on wanting to lose weight,i want a flat tummy! hehe i wrote this on facebook and Tir liked it. i think Tir likes the flat tummy part :p im so excited about lebaran this year hahaha, tho this will be my 7th lebaran without dad and 1st lebaran without sis after she has moved to Japan, im still so excited because I was given the opportunity to pass along Lebaran with mom and Riki and because this will be my 2nd lebaran with Tir. im so happy like i could dance to the floor right now.

i hope you all as excited as i am. for you are going to celebrate Lebaran in your hometown, prepare everything from now. booked your airplane ticket early, because the price will be deadly expensive if you booked one day before your flight. check your car if you're going to road trip. the most important is make sure your body is fit and healthy as a horse.

happy holiday!

Monday, August 30, 2010

batavia's sky

this is something that always makes me fall in love with Jakarta. Limitless Sky









and this one is my favorite. the plane looks very very very tiny

everybody has their own way how to see things.and this is me seeing your Jakarta.

Thursday, August 26, 2010


i know the reason why i'm so pissed off right now was too small to be a problem like this. i know i was over. i know im just too jealous as a person.

but just let me write anything i want here.

this isnt about you seeing another girl's bum. note it. is-not-about-you-SEEING-another-girl's-bum well yes it was at first, but now we have a bigger deal right here. this is about you so easy making me upset and so easy to ask an apoligize for me and easy to get mad if i cant give you any yet. easy easy easy and easy. do you think im an easy ass kind of girl? like you can ask anything anytime from me? do you see me as an easy kind of girl?

this isnt about me mad at you because you seeing another girl's bum. this is about me hating you because you acted like i was easy.

for these past 2 weeks, im so happy like i could die for you. but at the end of our 2 weeks, you turned everything to be black and grey. i dont know.. i was disappointed, i was mad, jealous, sad, mixed feelings at the same breath. i cant trust you,it seems like nothing can be trusted right now. i cant trust you for not hurting me more.

i wish i could just let go.

thank you billie for singing my song

Too many nights I’ve slept all alone. And I didn’t get to know you before you were gone. And I walk in your foot steps, I walk in your foot steps. I spy on you. Forgive me for that. So were you here to comfort me or to comfort you? To forget about the mistakes you’ve done. One shouldn’t do like that. One shouldn’t do like that? But I forgive you.

You’re all so important to me and you know it. So if that is mutual respect me and show it. You’ve hurt me before and you hurt me again. So apologize and I’ll forgive you. Don’t make fun of me or mock me or tease me. Take my hand and listen to me and release me. You’ve hurt me before and you hurt me again. So apologize and I’ll forgive you.

The last thing I need now is bad jokes and laughter. I can not go on like this. So help me now. Help me. So help now.

And the last thing I need now is bad jokes and laughter. I can not go on like this. So help me now. Help me. So help now.

Monday, August 23, 2010

letter to dad

dear dad..

i miss you as always and i miss you more to night. how are you dad? our sky looked gloomy these past days.. are you okay?

dad, 7th Ramadhan without you and i still feel like so weak, i still feel so empty. i feel so hurt and so lost. daddy, can you please be home?

sis will move on 5 days. she's going to Japan. Japan is your favorite country right? she's so much like you. watching her preparing everything is makes me so proud and so sad at the same time dad. im so proud that she has your dreams and the fact that she leaves me is killing me.

so dad, can you do me a little help? im sharing this sky with her. please guard her sky too dad. please be with her all the time. please take care of her when she's away. please daddy, be with her..

everytime i write to you, i know you must read it. and everytime i miss you, i know you miss me too. daddy my love is yours forever. i love you and im desperately missing you. i just wish i woke up one day having you here at home, i hope i see you again dad, its killing me to face the fact that i forgot your voice sounds like. dad, i miss you. i hope you're okay right now, i know you're okay. a good man like you must be have a special place on God's side right dad?

im sending all my love for you dad.

from your daughter

Sunday, August 22, 2010

he said, we shouldnt mention the word "forever"

the first time we go through this relationship, he thought that way. we shoulnt mention the word "forever" because nothing is last forever. i think he was wrong. everybody have the meaning of the word "forever" on their own. and this mine..

today is our 21 months anniversary. just like our others anniversary, i always feel lucky because he was here with me and how many lessons he had taught me and how he has changed my life and all things seemed to be better when he is here. today i feel all those feelings again. it seems today, i dont want to feel anything except my love for him and his love for me. like i could go screaming right now telling everyone that i love him the most, i love him forever. i know that he said nothing is last forever, but for me forever is a wish. i wish we could be in love as long as only god knows how long it was.

im always bad at ending my narrative. but now, this is my will to not going to end this narrative. i dont want to write an ending for my story about me loving him.

so, happy anniversary love. thank you for sweet sweet messages and sorry for the photos :p



Friday, August 20, 2010


..he was a thousand miles away from me when i needed him, we cant solve our problems face to face because he just not here, god knows how tired i am with this long distance relationship stuff, i think we need a break..


as someone who used to be in a position like that, i can say it was sad and desperate. long distance relationship is all about distance and time. as we know, distance and time are a must. we cant fool the distance. because until now "pintu kemana saja" doesnt exist and never will exist. distance must be passed. whatever it takes. and time. time is moving forward, never stopped or even walk backward. so everything had to walk across the distance and just in time, because your hearts, once it was late, it'll change.

but for me long distance relationship was more than distance and time.

many of my friends whose relationship ended due to distance reasons. although nobody said that distance can guarantee a lasting relationship, i agreed about distance as reasons. but, the distance im talking about is different, distance doesnt always mean different cities, different countries, or any kind of different places to stay. distance is blank space between two things/person.

can you imagine there was a blank space in front of you? a blank space that makes your eyes go blind and your hearing becomes deaf? and all you can see is your head and all you can hear is your thought? i say: dead.

for me, a relationship cant be said as LDR just because you live in different cities, but if you live in one house together, but rarely of communication and no time to spend together, it can be said as LDR. doesntt matter near or far you are, as long as there is no blank space between you, then you are actually holding onto one another.this is what we always have to protect, because blank space is very easy to appear. dont give a damn about how thin it is, it still dangerous. and all you have to do is put your glasses back so you can see clearer and start to look for something to make the blank space go away.

so before you say: "i think we need a break.." please look around you. what actually when wrong? if you going frustrated because you want to hug him/her but you cant, its not even a problem, its love. but if you see something that he/she couldnt see, i hope you know the best thing to do to get rid of it besides leave it die.

PS: leaving is not the best way to solve problems

Thursday, August 19, 2010


today my cat was missing :( Cikung disappeared this morning and she was pregnant. i know the situation was difficult for her. we just moved and im sure she couldnt yet get along to our new place. these past two days, she looked gloomy and refused to eat. Cikung used to love to eat :( so i think she lost because she wasnt familiar with this place as her new home, and i think maybe she left and coulnt find her way home. poor her.

so if you live around Ciumbeluit Bawah or Gandok or where ever near by and saw/found her, please contact me. she was pregnant and wore a pink bell. This is the picture of my cat and her name is Cikung.



thank you for reading this news. i beg your help to anyone who saw her, please contact me. thank your very very much.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010


i always try to describe love. love is this and love is that. love is always changing depending on how I look and feel. love is always changing on how I want to call it. love is yesterday, today, and tomorrow. love is always, changing?

some people say, love is belief and trust. if love is belief and trust, how can it keeps changing?

it keeps changing because i dont know. i tried to guess to pretend that i know. i tried to conclude from all the things i thought i knew. it keeps changing because i keep changing.

and now, i finally know. that love isnt about a thing. love isnt about times, distances, differences, commons, problems, kissing, roses, sex, belief, trust, faith, cheating, us, married even love isnt about you and me.

love is life.

when you thought you were dead and lose all your lives,you're losing your love.
when you see the sun in the morning and feel completely normal, you have your life.

and i couldnt breath without you, but with you the sun is singing..
you, the love of my life, the life that i love.


17 August was never more than an independence day for me, which can only be celebrated by people who truly "independent".

Today i went to Jakarta, not to attend the independence ceremonies. i went to Jakarta because i want to see, how independent are we when seen through the eyes of the capital. well, i saw a lot. i see how great our capital is. luxury buildings, shopping centers everywhere, high way filled with expensive cars, the air smells like money. Jakarta is the city of life, of glamorous, of everything you ever wished for.

We are already independent.

Until i saw the dark part of this heaven on earth. i saw black dirty river filled with trash with kids bathe and moms washing clothes and other goods there. for a while i wanted to not believe what i saw. and then i saw a highway guardrail, it filled with laundry. what is this? where is the luxury buildings? where is the city of life? there are two questions that pops into my head, are they dont know what they're doing? Who has done this to them? i sighed. im sure this is only the small portion of Jakarta's dark parts.

then i think, what I want to be a material lift for my writing tonight. the luxury? or the dead part? i dont know i cant decide. both is interesting. both is a problem. i dont know which part is describe the situation of our independence now. i need a help. while thinking, i checked my twitter, then i read something interesting. wow, zooey deschanel, from 500 days of summer/ she&him said, if she could. she wanted to come to Indonesia. suddenly, my feeling turned into a pride. famous artist like her amazed to Indonesia. not only her, but a lot of artist. artist that come from countries that dont have black dirty river love Indonesia. then why can we love Indonesia? social problems in Jakarta, must have happened in other cities from Sabang to Merauke. but if compared with the richness and beauty that we have, all problems will look very small.what we have to do is, not looking for any good or any bad things, all we have to do is love our Indonesia more. if we can love, surely we can keep.

so here we are, independent as we can be, independet as we want to be.

Happy Birthday Indonesia.
i love you

Saturday, August 14, 2010

i cried my self to bed after this

the first time i heard about this movie, i definitely think this movie is just like any other local movies. especially when i read the tagline: cinta lama bersemi kembali, and also the poster. are they really cant make something better than this?

until yesterday, my friend said i should watch this movie. she said the story is similar to mine and I was immediately curious. so finally i watched this movie last night and...

i cried my self to bed like all night long. I hope you've watched the movie so I dont need to explain the details. and for you who are already very close with me, I'm sure you must know why this movie was so sad to me. but beside the story, i found a lessons to learn from this movie:

1.forgetting something is a very hard thing to do. in fact, there is nothing in the world can be completely forgotten. but that doesnt mean everything that has happened in the past could live in the present. all the memories have a special place in our heart. but not to regret or even missed. memories were created to find out who we are and why we're here. depends on how we want to live it. you can live your love with happy days and good things but never learn anything or you live your love by get hurt but as strong as your heart beating. whatever it is the choice is entirely up to us.

so if any of you have some problem with forgetting some one or a choice to live your love, i recommend to watch this movie. and I wish all the options you have chosen is the right choice.

Goodnight. Happy fasting.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010


if someone asks about my feeling now, i'll say im very pleased and very sad at the same time. Happy because its Ramadhan again! im sure there is not a single Muslim who doesnt happy about it. Happy that me and my family and Tir still be given the opportunity and health. And also sad because this is the 7th Ramadhan without my dad, and will be the first Idul Fitri without Sis. My sister will move to Japan less than 20 days away. And sad because i just cut my hair, very very short. i dont know how long it will takes to grow it again :( if you have any idea or know something about the fastest way to grow it, please email me.

So hows your first day everyone? i hope we can finish this day well and the rest 29 days. Be sure to always eat vegetables and fruits every saur or buka, and drink a lot of mineral water. Mom says it will keep us healthy and strong during fasting. And to non-muslim friends, help us okay, please dont test our temper or our hunger-instinct by eating in front of us :p

Happy Ramadhan Y'all. Hopefully our ibadah is accepted by Allah. Here's a little present from me and Tir to all of you fasting-people :D