Sunday, February 7, 2010

PAPA

Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face.You told me how proud you were, but I walked away.If only I knew what I know today.I would hold you in my arms.I would take the pain away.Thank you for all you've done.Forgive all your mistakes.There's nothing I wouldn't do.To hear your voice again.Sometimes I wanna call ya.But I know you won't be there.Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit.Sometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I miss.And it's so hard to say goodbye.When it comes to this.Would you tell me I was wrong?.Would you help me understand?.Are you looking down upon me?.Are you proud of who I am?.There's nothing I wouldn't do.To have just one more chance.To look into your eyes.And see you looking back.Ohh I'm sorry for blaming you.For everything I just couldn't do.And I've hurt myself, ohh.If I had just one more day.I would tell you how much that I've missed you.Since you've been away.Ooh, it's dangerous.It's so out of line.To try and turn back time..

Photobucket
daddy : the left one


last night, i dreamt about my daddy. he came up to me without any word. staring at me full of love. i came after him and lay my head upon his lap. he touched my hair gently, and even without any word, i can see his messages through his eyes. he really missed me and wonder why me and my boyfriend never visited again. he said, although he never knew him directly, he believes that my boyfriend will be the good one for me later. than he began to disappear.his eyes said one more time, "honey,if you keep your love for me, come over, and i'll come back to you". when i woke up from my sleep,i couldn't hold back my tears. i really miss him as he missed me.i immediately called my mom and told her evertything.then she began to cry with me.

we all missed him.daddy died six years ago.left me,my mommy, my sister and my brother all alone.it was heartbreaking. i thought day by day, time might heal everything. but this hole in our heart never ever will be healed. it was never right again,although we all tried to stick with this reality, but the sense of lost never can be replaced.we all trying to let go.believed that daddy had been in a better place than here.but sometimes disbelief and unacceptable feeling that he wasn't home anymore haunting us.and when a sense it was attacked, I felt very weak.

all i can do is pray for him, and do my best to always be his daddy's best girl.I know wherever he is now, he watching after me and my family. and I knew he would read my writing how it was. i missed you daddy, I hope someday you'll be home again with me, with us.
xoxo

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