Wednesday, July 14, 2010

random thoughts

i really hate to write this tittle. random thoughts means im in a bad situation.

something has been bothering my mind. im worried i can tell, but not that worry. i mean, im fine, i think im going to be just fine. but it is still there, in my mind. sometimes when im alone and got nothing to do, im thinking about it. even when i dont want to think about anything. im thinking about the possibility is always there.

good for me because i dont have to thinking about it alone.well at least i thought, i dont have to thinking about it alone. i have my person here. right?

but i was wrong again. last night when i told him, i thought he would run over here and hug me and tell me everything is going to be okay. we are going to be okay. but i found him not here. he was there. i appreciate his effort to make me feel better, to make me feel im not alone. but see, im not that better.

so im thinking about any possibility that could happen. what if it really happened? where he is going to be? my answer is i dont know.

i understand why he's not here. i can take all the reason why he's not here. but i just dont know why im doing this. im scared. scared of what will happen to me and the fact that i have no one. scared of what will i do. i cant spend the rest of my life crying and hoping for someone to help me. im scared of everything.


i know right now im going to be alright. but i dont know what will happen next day.

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